Reviews for Circles of Arven
Chancee chapter 36 . 7/6/2009
THE FLASHBACKS GGR!

But very exciting? Funny you made sure the thing shredded her clothes and Djinn has not given her anything to cover up in...Naughty little spirit.

Well this was some really well written action and there is only the use of modern slang here and there that shift this out of Fantasy so with a solid fantasy theme you don't have any space for modern slang so you will need to change that really...especially the 'Bank on it' that came across sort of cornball, but you have not been using your witty phrases thoughout and then BAM coolness...You may want to try a better transition for that or at least work on some kind of Edenish slang...You got a whole history and race down pack...
Chancee chapter 35 . 7/6/2009
okay Eldan is now starting to creep me out and I am getting a vibe you are building him up for a twist...Now it all makes sense with is behavior and his grand speeches...I will wait to see if I am right of course and I was also intrigued to see you still tell every single flashback. You know this is not really necessary, but I won't quip over what you want in your story...They are starting to take away more than enhance and guide...

Oh but Lynn is in danger! GO get her Azuren!
Chancee chapter 34 . 7/6/2009
the flashbacks need to be in one chapter like moments of the past because you are bombarding us with a whole lot of information...I had to go back and read and reread I don't know how many times so I had everything straight...Please keep that in mind dear author...
Chancee chapter 33 . 7/6/2009
Oh so now you decide its time to throw the girls in the mix? Okay I can dig it but what about Ellis? She sort of liked him too right? And is it Azuren has a certain look he is looking for or just overly shy because of the immediate attention... I have to say that there is a part in his character that reminds me of Hercules from Disney with his reluctance to get with girls, but I know you will do a good job of getting him to face the opposite sex head on...Oh and the dark pendant was the start of all this? I wonder who left it there...
Chancee chapter 32 . 7/6/2009
**Does Happeh Dance** FInally we see Fenris in action again and the move by Lyen was simply cool...This is going a long nicely now and I am just wondering what all that other stuff you wrote is about...I'm not stopping to read it that's why I am able to read your story...Oh yes you have a couple of dropped words here and there and points where you change tense but right now there isn't anything that is messing up the flow...
Chancee chapter 31 . 7/6/2009
Short but a lot of preaching still from Eldan...It's cool but he seems more like OB one Canobie when he was young...Yes, I do find other relateable characters as I read your stories and it normally fits...So the village is tainted with stupidity They all are really annoying, I mean they are still mad and Azuren just freed them, so when I read that I was like WTF?

So Eldan is ready to throw down with some Oraks, I know this will be good...
Chancee chapter 30 . 7/6/2009
Action I like but you could have left off the girl and her brother...they did not add to the story just seemed like unnecessary folks... the focus should have stayed on Azuren and you are determined to tell us everything that is happening...zokay
Chancee chapter 29 . 7/6/2009
That's what I'm talking about he's finally going to get his glory! Bout time too...I was hoping you would give him a chance to shine.. This story is over cast by so many prophecies and things you just can't wait to get to the action...even though your foundation is solid you may want to chisel away some of the narrations of ole occurrences even with the villagers and get to the point faster...Okay on to the next...
Chancee chapter 28 . 7/6/2009
I know that I have gotten on you about paralleling some of the manga I have read but the shards remind me of Inuyasha, even if that was a jewel and these are people...But I think you need to take this somewhere and get it published, or have it looked at for a series for T.V. or movie...I say this with all seriousness. You have a very good set up and I think you could get some money for this so don't let you lazy butt pass up an opportunity...Hit up the net for literary agents and screenwriters and enter this into some contest...I think you will do a good job and with this well formed piece I think you could be the next young star...
Chancee chapter 27 . 7/6/2009
Oh my Gosh you need to write a list of author's notes and put them in their own space but anyway...Your characters all seem to be philosophers and wise men...they are not sounding too much like young growing adults, but it feels as if they are already set in wholesome ideals so the discovery of one's self and purpose is already laid out. You don't have that spur of the moment where you say...NO Azuren don't do that or NO Eldan you are wrong about that...They are seemingly too good...

Understand? I mean it's cool they are the most noble characters I have run into since Edward Cullen and Belle...So maybe you can trip them up a bit make them more realistic in terms of humanity even if they are elves...
Chancee chapter 26 . 7/6/2009
Very nice and calm chapter. You have always done a good job with your character layering and this is just another example of it. So what's up with the little Edenish brat? Guess I'll go and find out...I wont comment on all the other talking you do on these chapters...
Chancee chapter 25 . 7/6/2009
OH God the stats!But you do what you do...I like the duel but I am not sure just what Azuren did so I need to re0read that. I like how everyone had this sense that Azuren was going to do something grand but the predicting of the opponents attacks makes me think of the Uchiha clan...You know I think of all things Naruto so your paralleling events are interesting...I think it is good that they share similarities but they are vastly different worlds so this speaks volumes to your talent...Sweetness...
Chancee chapter 24 . 7/6/2009
Action is always your forty and I loved this...So glad things started to pick up and you got on with this. I like the fighting buddies. It is a compliment to be able to fight your friends in a way since you both know how far to push the other which can only bring about better skill in you both...this was really good and I can't wait to see what happens when the older Azuren gets serious.
Chancee chapter 23 . 7/6/2009
I knew it...I am so glad Azuren is the way he is around girls...It would seem strange if he was very easy going with his looks and you did a good job of making him sound very attractive.

This was the cutest chapter and I really enjoyed it...being the romance reader I am, you did a great job embarrassing your mc but I found a few spots where you switched tenses and you used frankly a bit more which is how you talk so be careful..

Good Chappie
Chancee chapter 22 . 7/6/2009
Good lord man that was soo short...but your author's note could be a chapter in itself...You already know I don't approve of the long talk so I won't beat that dead horse anymore...

But I'm glad we are getting to some action and the kid is grown up now...
1,150 | « Prev Page 1 .. 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 18 .. Last Next »