|Reviews for storm|
| reicheru chapter 3 . 1/8/2005
i thought it was quite nice ) i think i liked the child part best. especially barney *beamms* i dont know. anyway excellentwonderful job!
| Late Cretaceous chapter 3 . 11/26/2004
Very nice! I really liked the way the writing style changed to account for point of view but still remained recognizable as the same author. (actually, when I read them I was under the impression that the poems chronicled the life of one person from childhood to adulthood to old age.) In any case, I'm impressed. Good work! _
| really chapter 3 . 11/10/2004
man pigsie for someone so young you sure can see from a lot of different POVs haha. i liked the first one because you can tell right away whose POV it is. *beam*
| negligible fictional force chapter 3 . 10/26/2004
and this is the chapter i like best.
strange, as it's the angstiest.
but it calls out to me.
okay, that sounded cliched.
bahaha. i think changing
the caps in front makes a poem
look different, ne?
good work here, anyway.
i like the last lines. a lot.
i think relying on brackets
to convey the message is unnecessary though.
anyway. it's a lovely,
and it's unusual too,
although there are many rain poems out there.
| moonarised polane chapter 1 . 10/24/2004
this was great work.
can sense the speaker growing up.
i liked the first part. it had a child-like voice to it. haha. barney!
the second part was teenager-ish. and the part about the rain washing away the girl's promises was gd.
another one to my favourites.
| frisson rae chapter 3 . 10/19/2004
another reason why i chose to review this poem; i love rain. can i send you rain photos? i must have about thirty. the rain is lovely.
i like your set of three. the first one being childlike and innocent. the second one being slightly more angsty and teenager-ish, and the last one rather philosophical. it looks like someone moving through time within the poems. passing from phase to phase. and of course, you did mention that in "rain can't wash away the scars of age."
and the third stanza - from an old man's POV, waiting for his children to come back. that was prettily done. i take it my inference of your set of three was right?
very bitter tone for this last part. i liked the first part a lot more. barney! well. a very pretty idea woven extremely well through three parts.
hey you! you'v earned yourself a favourite on the goddess's list.
| frisson rae chapter 2 . 10/19/2004
leaden sky. that was a pretty line. in a single word you convey that the sky is heavy and dull.
ooh now here comes the romance factor. i like the second last stanza a lot. the TASTE of her lips being washed away by the rain, like promises. although you could have elaborated more about the exact taste of her lips.
| frisson rae chapter 1 . 10/19/2004
well, i was going to be lazy and leave a review at three, but heck.
haha. it was really a very adorable poem, though i was afraid when the line
"look down through the grille" came, that you would make the speaker sort of jump out the window. cause i would have.
it was a very sweet start to a set of three, with lovely use of onomatopeia and i stifled laughter at the ending. barney's showing... hahahh..
p.s. try eating an umbrella. i guarantee you it won't taste like candy.