Reviews for Errant Angel |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Blagahh... so different from what you usually write. By the way, I spot a grammatical error! BING BING! You say "He smell assulted..." when it should be "Her smell assulted..." Yay, the Morris finally makes a grammatical error! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, wow, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, this bitch named Sangos_Sister flamed me and said I'd never be a great writer, so I told her to screw off...so, yeah. Well, anyhoodles, I have a new email so EMAIL ME!erika_darkmoon ,Erika |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hiya! God I love how this is going it's so great! I'm having a bit of trouble myself with my story. Hey, look, email me if you want okay? ...hehehe, review ya soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay, I finally read the other chapters and ya know what? I absolutely LOVE this story! It's really developing nicely! Keep up the good work! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love the story thusfar...I only read the first chapter. I'm in school ya know? Class is almost over. Anyhoodles, I love the developement of the story and I like your description. Instead of just stopping the story to describe you describe as the story goes along. Your grammar is great. Keep going; don't give up. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have to say that your story is interesting. Not so mainstream that it sounds like the rest. Good character building with Ketiel. Grammar is good. Solid presentation.-Chapter two, when the mugger attacks Sean it is very confusing. You are in the middle of an arguement between the deamon and the boy and it seams as if the deamon is attacking the boy. This is before the reader realizes they are 'sharing' a body. You may want to re-write the scene-My only other problem I have with the story itself is the use of the word urchin to discribe Ketiel seems out of place.-Also one last thing. I notice even though your story has been up for a couple of months you have no reviews.- I have a therory.. I was taken aback and almost did not read your story after reading your opening paragraph. you know the'At the risk of sounding pompously overconfident' part. If it almost stopped me from reading it may be causing the rest to pass. Just a suggestion but if you re-post without that?Anyway, Good start. I will read more if you continue. (whats up with the song as a chapter? lol)Write more. Write oftenChief |