The story is powerful, I like how it was presented. Good job writer! If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NóvelStar, just submit your story to hardy nó or joye nó

It seems rather unlikely that Skye would say such a thing and be so...well, insensitive to her best friend, don't you think? In the first chapter the reader, namely me, got to know Skye's character and her brother only slightly and although this odd interaction between Marissa and Skye gives us (me) a little insight into the two characters, I'm not sure I understand where this is coming from. The questions I have would be "Aren't they friends?" "Wouldn't Skye be kinder to someone she was previously friends with?" "What's the background here?"

As the reader, I'm not give any of this information that could be quite useful. I barely know anything about any of the characters and yet you've thrust me right in the middle of a conflict right away. It can be argued that there is nothing better than a conflict to bring out the true character of a...character, but I feel you're popping into a conflict that would be best handled differently by characters whose feelings aren't truly like this.

Forgive me if I'm wrong but Skye doesn't seem the type to "spin" a friend around and confront them like this, not from what I've seen anyway.

Just some thoughts, feel free to throw your rotten food at me and make faces at the computer. "I know my characters, of course she would, you're wrong, how could you say that?" I've done it, I know. ._.; I knitpick with love.

Long days and pleasant nights,

Gaki

yes well this story is great so far i think that it can go very very far and you should continue as long as u get reveiws its kinda like a get reveiws and write more... so yea i love horses i have one of mi own and well hes a problems horse he doesn't want to do anything you want to do. but yea plz write more chpts

Good story so far! more chapters! my horses name is rebel, and hes a gelding too! lol. we have to sell him though.): do you have horses? keep up the good work!fantasy_sorceress (:

Great story! i LOVED the part where her little brother runs upstairs "so he wouldn't get crushed by his sister" , sounds like me and my brother. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Aww, this was a great beginning, Whitney! I think the characters are pretty cool. Hahaha, what an annoying little brother. :P LoL. I look forward to reading the next chapter! I'm gonna add ya to my fave author's list. Don't forget to read my two stories! Oh yeah...I still need your character info as well!
~Rei