Reviews for Nutmeg aka Coffee Shop Story
watuboasn chapter 37 . 6/3/2009
The first three paragraphs of this chapter were just right to me. I like everything about them - what you included, how you wrote them, what wasn't said, and how perfectly emotionally realistic.

Favorite part was the girls' date in the coffee shop, and the reason why is what I've told you before. Beautifully done.

I'm reminded again in this chapter of how much I like your supporting characters; they truly do stand on their own feet. I love that my first instinct about them is not to think they exist only to push a plot point or drive home a particular idea. They are plausible friends, full of love and irritating qualities, and that is wonderful.

I had to laugh at the awkwardness during the please-say-you-like-me-too conversation! It was so endearing and just what I've been hoping for. Nothing dramatic or over-the-top, and I love that! Again, something I love about your writing in general. Detailed in the right way. I do wish I could read how Drake would have broached the topic of dating Alora if she hadn't hinted at her feelings first. I imagine it could go all kinds of ways.

The piece of advice handed out by Renee near the end reminded me of my classmate's mom who told her daughter how to go about marriage.

Did they get to go to the Ethiopian place?

Wonderful, as always. :)
wurwaoi chapter 36 . 6/3/2009
I enjoyed this chapter very much! Quite possibly one of my most liked of them all. :)

I wonder about the food you include - have you had all of what you've written - or something similar? Those chicken salad sandwiches sound pretty out of control! And tasty. Hmm, and it's too bad Eliza didn't make an appearance earlier on in the story; I think she would do much better than the others at getting Alora to say things that are a bit like pulling teeth to her.

I love that Drake and Alora are so comfortable with each other; I had some fun imagining the shyness that must also be creeping up on the two of them - as it often does on people who are just beginning to tune in to just how much they like each other.

The last part - Alora's realization - was great. I especially liked the first sentence because it's just the kind of thing I love about your writing. I could hear it, feel it, and see it, even if the details on her particular flowered bedspread are a little fuzzy.

All in all, there were many details you wrote in here that put small smiles on my face!
werihoaij chapter 35 . 6/3/2009
"Their friendship suddenly seemed so one-sided—and perhaps it was, as far as what they shared was concerned." This is just what I was thinking of in one of my previous reviews - in regards to the pacing and at times wishing for more.

It's a bit startling to read about Drake's family, and if that's the intended effect, it's right. Does the mention here mean they will show up in the last couple of chapters? I hope so. The juxtaposition of a main character against his or her family is always very interesting - and I think you would be able to write it very well, too - that is, I imagine many shades and nuances and the essence of Drake would make themselves known without being explicitly written.

Blind dates, eh? I suppose friends can be like that. I liked Alora's thought on an attractive person agreeing to a blind date - such a normal thought - and the paragraph in which it is written is the bit I enjoyed most. I could see and hear it happen. I also like the Drake and Alora's verbal confirmation of the horrible first impression each had on the other. :)

Great chapter!
weroqpovn chapter 34 . 6/3/2009
Ahh, I loved it! Hahah! I am full to bursting with exclamations right now.

Alora was surprisingly charming with Mr Brooks and not at all tongue-tied like I would have imagined her to be! What a great way to start off the chapter.

YES, Willibard! His appearance made me laugh, and the thought of dancing with the likes of him made me cringe a little inside. Poor thing. Loved the new people you added in this chapter; the extra spice at the ball was just right, and I could really believe that Alora was enjoying herself a little. The suit was very interesting here, too - too bad Alora is a bit oblivious. Just how I liked how you wrote the flurry of pre-ball jitters and activity, I really enjoyed the settling post-ball scene; in fact, I think it's my favorite part. I love how you turned something as mundane as winding down and getting ready for bed into prime character time. It's consistently one of the things I love best about your story, and it's definitely one of your strengths.

And props on the dinner menu at the ball - delicious!

[I suspect I may be leaving some mistakes in the wake of my reviews, but hopefully they still make sense! Of course, there are also heaps of things I'm not saying that I really want/could/should but have forgotten to mention!]
woeiurtal chapter 33 . 6/3/2009
"...but she thought it was not right to come to a theatre without snacks." Agreed. I really hope you, Miss DE, have sneaked KFC in a backpack into the movies because that would truly full of win.

I cannot handle the cuteness that abounds in this chapter! Two informal dates with these two? I mean, I am probably blushing from the secondhand cuteness I've just experienced. Perhaps this is when weekly updates are a good thing. Aww!

Beyond all that, my most-liked part is when Alora spots Drake as she arrives at the theater. He really is a lonely character in many ways, even though you've done a wonderful job at not really making us remember as much, thanks to his interaction with Alora. It makes me all the more glad for the effort both of your characters have put forth in moving forward as friends - and hopefully more! :)

This chapter also made me feel very content with the pacing of the story. There were times during which I wished for more, but the realism of a typically slow turning of a friendship and affection is showcased really beautifully here.

On another note, I like how Renee's look for the evening was described. Sounds much more grown-up and elegant than overtly showy - the latter is what I would have expected of her. Kat acting as the proud parent before the big dance was spot-on, too. It made me smile. :)
wakwieojt chapter 32 . 6/3/2009
He is really digging Her!

Hooray for the shoe shopping and all the necessary evils associated with it. Like foot hose. I especially like how the shopping with friends and the general fuss about the ball is only increasing my own anticipation of it; I'm glad you've included all this - and in more than a tiny blurb. I can't wait to read about Alora's awkwardness about it, and I'm also looking forward to feeling pleased about how the whole event goes down. I do wish Willibard will show up.

Lots of great interaction between characters here!

I think a good deal of my enjoyment in reading these chapters is knowing that I'll be able to keep going straight to the end!
wkapoiuwe chapter 31 . 6/3/2009
Long chapter. Very nice.

My favorite part was the dinner conversation with the Fairfields, definitely. I was almost expecting to see them show up at the ball and find out about Alora's friendship with the suit that way, but I like how revealing played out in this chapter. Having the conversation in her grandparents' home gave them more room to express the kind of things and showcase the kind of attitude they wouldn't - I assume - display in front of The Fearborn. I also liked this part because I could very easily picture and imagine the characters' tones of voice in my head, which is a big plus in my book. Makes me feel more connected, in-tune, happy for the realism, what have you - I mean, who hasn't dealt with snobbery and ladder-climbers at some point? There's also a great deal of slightly horrible satisfaction in knowing that Alora was able to one-up her grandmother, finally, instead of having to sit back in the midst of her usual disrespect.

Matt, of course, is always fun to read, especially with his hormonal urges. Love how the sibling interaction brings out additional facets of Alora's personality and likes/dislikes that don't have a chance to appear otherwise [e.g., the horror movie thing]. I'm glad you've written some of things in later on in the story instead of laying them all on the table in the beginning to early middle; it's keeping her interesting. :)
weporiuas chapter 30 . 6/3/2009
Hmm...yes, I think there was enough artist-suit interaction - if such a thing really is possible.

This was a fun chapter! It made me giggle. Dance lessons? Drake totally imagining Alora naked and liking it and choking on the thought with her surprise comment? Prompting him for a cheesy gift post-business trip? :) Really, though, I think this chapter had Drake opening up a bit - from this perspective - on his enjoyment of Alora's company and friendship, which is great at this point in the story. I know I've been waiting for the kinds of unguarded moments you had throughout.

“It takes more time than that to find someone.” - Can anybody find me somebody to love? The follow-up that immediately came to mind.
Anon chapter 1 . 6/1/2009
I've been following this story ever since it started in 2004, and I really love it. Though it needs revisions in some places, the plot is unique, and I really love the characters especially Alora, Drake, and Matt.

My biggest concern is that the end felt rather rushed. There definitely needs to be an epilogue. As for the one-shot, how about Drake proposing to Alora? Usually, I'm not a fan of proposals; however, they know each other so well over the years that I feel as though it would work.

Good job!
theslykit chapter 38 . 5/31/2009
i say it's a crappy ending only because it was too short! LOL...wish there was more to it you know? but i really loved this story! so glad i found it! and you should just call it nutmeg..short and sweet.._
DeadCooKie chapter 38 . 5/29/2009
I LOVED your story! It was well developed, had great characters, and was totally non-cliché! And that's saying something because it's so hard to escape clichéd stories nowadays... I really enjoyed this story.

There were a few irregularities here and there, like Drake saying that he was Norwegian, and had a brother who was in jail, already, but when he says the same thing a few chapters later and she's surprised that he's Norwegian, and in a different chapter when he is talking about how he had to the cooking in his house, he mentions his brother and she thinks something along the lines of having never heard anything about the existence of this brother. I know this would probably be more helpful if I mentioned chapter numbers, but it's 4:53 in the morning and no matter how many times I look through your chapters I swear I just can't seem to find those lines!

Well anyway, like I said already, LOVED your story, this is going up on my fav list. I can’t wait for the epilogue! And could you please tell me what do I have to do read that other story of yours, the one which isn’t being posted on Fp?
Emphasis chapter 10 . 5/27/2009
o-o I totally missed the part where this Xander guy hooked up with Alora...

So you lost me a bit there, but I'll catch up...xD

Drake still strikes me as extensively weird to no end...I get the feeling Alora gets that pottery wheal/kiln she's been wanting in the end, though...we'll see?xD
Emphasis chapter 9 . 5/27/2009
This suit really bothers me..I don't know what to think of him. He's like memory foam (have you heard of that stuff?)-he's just too frustrating to figure out-he's just bothersome! You're waiting for it/him not to come through, and it never happens...:/

I'll just list these as the small mistakes I've noticed (or awkward phrases I guess you could say);

"Oh yeah… you work." Alora laughed a bit. I’m on break form classes."

Drake nodded, and a quiet stretched comfortably, each dwelling on their own thoughts until the burgers Alora was dreading arrived.

Alora figured he was, but she was curious to see if he’d given her the fried.

She knew it was form the suit, which only increased her curiosity.
Emphasis chapter 7 . 5/27/2009
"It’s all right." Drake told her. "It just slide a bit."

Oh no! Drake lost his eloquence!:c

"I know that!" Alora snapped. "After all, we’re not in an accident, are you?

Woah! Looks like Alora is getting a little less articulate as well.:/

...The other was that her door was closed and DaVinci was no in her room...

I swear that's verging on Spanglish~crude 'no' vs. 'not' typo.

Otherwise, I love this phrase~

...world in its deadly glitter...

Continuing to read...;D
Emphasis chapter 6 . 5/27/2009
Chapter 6:

Quickly, she made a sketc of a slightly curved, smooth plate that reminded her vaguely of a wide, flattened bowl. "Something like this?"

See if you can find the typo here...;D

So tell me something interesting that’s happened lately—asides from a new art project."

Asides? Is that a word? Just curious, I'm definitely not sure of myself in correcting you on this, but yeah~

Still phenomenal-one thing I'd watch out for is your bulky descriptions. You tend to throw in some strange but uninteresting details-then it gets to the point where enough is enough. It's like one of those game shows-you're anticipating the next part (to see if the contestant gets any further or loses) and the host just keeps dragging on and on about what you already know...just rather annoying. But you're still drawn in, which is the plus side to writing like that.;D You just need to watch out for those people who are impatient and give up on reading some parts (like myself, who skimmed in areas I knew weren't key plot points). lol

Marvelous story.c:
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