Reviews for A Vampire's Tears
Darwin chapter 2 . 10/28/2004
This is short! EEK!
I was hoping for a bit more! This would be great if you were to expand it more...give it more depth and detail. There are a lot of possibilities you could exploer with her discovery of having become a vampire.
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Again, screen for misspellings: a few I noticed, "Beak" instead of "beat." "Fan" instead of "ran"
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The last passage could be expanded as well. Add something about her resisting at first, like "She again beat his chest as he forced his cold lips over her own. Slowly her struggles slackened, finding that despite herself, her body responded to his rough affections." Something like that anyway.
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You've got a good start for the story here, with some more description, and expansion of the emotions behind the reactions this will be a great supernatural entry!
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High School huh? Now your making me feel old! LOL! (I've got three and a half years 'til I retire the Navy!)
Darwin chapter 1 . 10/27/2004
Well done...this is a well paced introduction to your story! A rogue vampire is always an interesting subject, but that he is so rutheless, and remorseless is amazing! Excellent start!
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Screen this very carefully, the only drawback I saw to the story was the few spelling errors that dot this entry...if you have a microsoft word program it comes in very handy, I rely pretty heavily on it myself!
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Other than that great start to the story! I look forward to the next chapter...I will be back to read more!
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Darwin