|Reviews for A Dream He Wish He Forgotten|
| Gameprowler713 chapter 1 . 11/26/2004
Ops! X.x There seems to be something wrong with paragraphing on FictionPress ('least the reviews). Please ignore the example of paragraphing in my last review! Sorry!
| Gameprowler713 chapter 4 . 11/26/2004
Wow, I love the storyline in this story (sorry if that sounded kinda cheesy '). Pretty good...Though, you should probably add more detail to your chapters, and use "tenses" on some of your words ("tenses" are ways of telling the past, present, and future of words. ex: Dreamed, Dreaming, Dream. Or in a sentence: He dreamed., He is dreaming., He will dream.)And I'm not sure if this is a script error or program error, but the quotation marks (" ") around the words the characters are saying aren't showing up, and neither is the periods at the end of the sentences nor the paragraphs to distinguish who is talking and who isn't.(ex.:"I'm going to school, mom!" Jimmy yelled."Okay." his mother replied.) (Okay, sorry, that wasn't a real good example of using paragraphs when the characters are talking. It's just pretty late where I am and I'm tired.)Sorry if I'm just going over things you already knew or things that I've already said before.I'm looking forward to your future improvements and updates!
Oh yes, and on an unrelated note; I think I sent you an e-mail a couple of days ago. Did you get it?