|Reviews for Self Control|
| Pillow Biter chapter 1 . 1/12/2005
This one has a huge personal significance to me. You have expressed ways I have felt with words of extreme wisdom.
| sleah chapter 1 . 1/2/2005
Hmm...another that I enjoyed. You see, what I have loved about the two poems that I've reviewed so far was the strong emotion that you seemed to push into every word. Every line was laid with such strength that you can't imagine it being written any other , for a bit of criticism, please don't be upset. If it will bother you, just stop now and know that I do see you as a wonderful artist. Artist, not writer, because you paint such beautiful emotions with your for continuing, the other poems I've read (And I've read all of them down to this point) seemed to be less..."deep." To me, they were only surface poems, not really expressing anything that you strongly , they were wonderful in their simplicity or complexity, but I couldn't *feel* anything from those. The expression I was left with was "oh, that was good" rather than "wow." I really don't know how else to explain it.I can see that you've done wonderfully, and have a great potential to do even more in the time to come. I just...I read your bio and you wrote that you were using this site to express your emotions and views of the world, or something to that effect. A lot of your earlier poems that I read, to me, were in fact better than the later ones. Tell me, do you believe that it is possible to become so wrapped up in actually writing that people forget about the soul? Poetry should always have a soul. Don't you think? Well, I think so. You've done a wonderful job here, and for that I must commend for the others? Consider it or not, I just hope that my rambling may mean something, you've made it this far, I commend you on being a delightfully patient person.
~ Yabou ~ SL
| AphelionOfMe chapter 1 . 11/21/2004
I think the 'regret is its friend' line is trying to express the existence of two contrasting emotions at once-the relief and the regret of not doing something. It's an interesting poem and I particularly liked the repeated stanza. Not quite sure about the last line though 'I did not reach' sounds unfinished to me. overall, good job for your review on my 'Eponym of my life'-just to clarify for you 'eponym' is a person after whom something is named, like a life. The person I was writing about provides the title for my life, so they are the eponym of it. hope that makes more sense to you.
| Aleithea chapter 1 . 11/9/2004
This is amazing... you are a truly inspired poet- actually i'm kind of embarassed you read my work now. I can't wait to read it all!
| Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 10/31/2004
a very beautiful poem. keep on writing ;)
| zxcvbn chapter 1 . 10/30/2004
"Regret is its friend"
Are you implying that you regret having self control? That struck me as strange, that's all. The repetition is good, but too much of it grew tiring, or at least that's how I felt. In this way, the message you're trying to bring across didn't come as clearly, so I think that took away some of the potential. The flow is quite good, the main thing is still that some of the lyrics did not make such clear sense, hypcritical perhaps.
Another note, I'd love to help you, but I don't like messing with other's poem as much, differnt style clashing might mess it up, not to mention I don't know that much about poems as much. I write both Sonnets and more free shyme schemes, it depends on my mood I guess, check some of my poems, I only uploaded the really old ones, but you will see some of the better ones later. I hope you check the other chapters for my poems as well.
| catseyeview chapter 1 . 10/30/2004
lovely...it certainly is a battle within oneself.