|Reviews for He Who Was|
| bluesinner chapter 1 . 11/11/2004
Your choice of words or diction is very interesting. I take a few words such as:
1. Silver: Why this color? Why silver, not gold? In my opinion, the color silver is used to show the attributes of ancient and wise yet soft,not as strong as the color gold.
2. Sanctuary: hmm... a forbidden place? A sacred place? A place where hope resides?
3. fallen: compare the pharase "fallen veil" with "drapery veil" or "hanging veil". Fallen veil gives the impression of something being revealed. Maybe a secret? Maybe an unknown attitude? (picture a veil which covers a face suddenly falls and reveals the face).
4: The pronouns "you" and "he": Obviously, I sense a comparison here. "You" is being compared to "he or him". However, if I try to relate this to the phrase "fallen veil" in second line, I feel like "he" and "you" is the same person. Feels like you've changed your perception towards someone after his veil has fallen which suggest the moment of revealing dark secret...
Well, it's just an interpretation of me. Maybe you have your own message...
| PetiteLumiere chapter 1 . 11/11/2004
Good, I love this piece. But a Haiku has 17 syllables, this has way more. And they are tradionally written in a 5-7-5 pattern. Either way it's great
| gnitleinad chapter 1 . 11/11/2004
hey, you've got so many haikus written, and you know what? i'm not familiar with writing haikus. arggh. someone has got to teach me. anyway...this was great as it always is...well of course i thought it was one of the more outstanding ones in the haikus.
| Kasatriya chapter 1 . 11/10/2004
So good, with a hidden meaning!
| Aslan Israel chapter 1 . 11/7/2004
Nicely written. Very good.
| Skiv chapter 1 . 11/3/2004
Woot! I likes it! 'Cept... It's not a hiaku... A hiaku is five, seven, five. That's not. But I still likes it.
By the way... Do I know you in real life? 'Cause you said much loves, and I say that all the time, and you're Juliet, and that's the play my Drama group is doing.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 11/2/2004
your nothing like him... you;re
I like it.. interesting... not relaly a hakiu though
| hybridelaverna chapter 1 . 11/2/2004
How can something so... small be so touching? I love it. *nods* One things: your nothing like him. Should be: you're nothing like him.
That's me; the spelling/grammar freak.