Your story is kicking ass...keep it up. Some people get further into their story and seem to forget where they are going and where they came from and stop writing so well. Keep yours going, it's really interesting. There were a few spelling mistakes, though. in chapter 5 you had them instead of then and in this chapter a lot of those kinds of spelling mistakes. Other than that, I have no complaints.~Eternal

Cliffhanger - you have mastered the art of being somewhat evil, haven't you?

Very vivid discription, and the characterization in here is excellent. The length is much more to my liking than some of your other chapters (or sections), and the explination of the crest . . . that was indeed interesting.

All in all, I have nothing to criticize. Therefore, I merely urge you to update soon!

Cheers!

There she is! And the emissary knows her... hum. This is definitely interesting. Keep it coming.

The Orlandi emblem is a snake. Why is it always a snake? Don't answer that, I know why it's a snake. But it's interesting although not much has happened yet, but you know theres something going on... Write more.

Yes, do please update. Otherwise: good. Good discription, and it looks like the plots finally about to start. Yay!

Otherwise - Pearson is well characterized, though Ican't help but wonder what in heck he's thinking about. Still not sure about Orlandi, you'll have to update so I can let you know.

"Visiting my grandmother in Florida, where all grandmothers live." Know that was an author's note, but just had to comment on your sense of humor.

Good story, update soon!

Cheers!

This is starting to get interesting, but the chapters are so short its kind of hard to get into to. I enjoy your writing style , but please, more story! These seem more like teasers.

~ The Queen of Squirrels ~

Good. Yeah, Orlandi's definately an eccentric. . . .

Good discription and a slightly longer chapter! Yay! Characterization of Orlandi was good, too. hope you do update tomorrow - that would be good!

Oh, but you might want to check out the begger spaces? I hope it wasn't intentional, because it kinda looks wrong.

Other than that, great chapter!
Cheers!

I'm quite sure that people are going to hate me for saying this to almost every writer I read, but you need to edit. I think you have some spelling mistakes and you have a TON of fragmented and awkward sentences. Sorry if you should find me frank and somewhat rude, but I'm an English-junky and I find that mechanical mistakes and bad word choices stubble readers and break smooth language. Personally, I edit my stories twice before posting (although my prologue to Crown of Tears makes me a bit of a hipercrit.) However difficult the mechanics are, I really enjoyed your ideas. I liked the way you used symmetry to describe your character; it was good.
~Eternal~

heh heh heh . . . . and as the clock strikes six, enter Orlandi!

Your chapters are far too short, my friend. . . . they could easily be combined into one without anyone's protest. On a lighter note, your discription is excellent. I assume we'll be meeting Orlandi next chapter? I hope so, because he sounds like such an interesting character!

All in all, a good (if short) new chapter!

Cheers!

Another too short chapter! However, you have my attention. Pearson sound like an interesting character. And am I right in assuming Orlandi would be something along the lines of the eccentric older man?

Awesome discription, just lengthen it a little!

Update soon!
Cheers!

Hmm . . . if this was the prologue, it would be good - as the first chapter, are you sure its not just a little bit short?

All in all, though, good. As there are no definite characters yet, I can say nothing about characterization, but your discription is excellent.

Now, I shall continue on to chapter two, which I will hopefully be able to say something more interesting about!

Cheers!

AH! Your chapters are too short! (hint)
And that's all I'm going to say.

I really want to see where this one's going: "My Last Duchess" is such a great poem, and if Orlandi's anywhere as arrogant and psychopathic as the duke was, he promises to be an extremely interesting character.
As for posting in italics, you have to italicize the text in your word processor, then save as an html document.

well, i dont know about italics, but see what other people say, like the story, good begining cant wait to meet Orlandi, rather elusive charater so far. i go by the name of reubenae on .net with only two stories. my fav. author so far! whoppe!
reubenae

This was interesting. I really liked the writing style actually, there's a certain humor to it and it's very direct.
"In this place they would be seated" was the only line I didn't like, too Captian Obvious for me.
I think it's an excellent beginning, plunges right into the action but without any confusion, and I can't wait to meet Orlandi.
Oh, for italics, I use mircosoft word and save it as a web page.