|Reviews for Change|
| broken shard of twilight chapter 1 . 1/31/2005
I like this. You make a very good use of imagery, one can picture what you want them to. I like the formatting, too. Put important or powerful words and phrases on separate lines. Makes them more significant somehow.
There also seems to be a personal note in this. If not, you are very good at injecting yourself into writing. I obviously don't know you, so I shouldn't talk, but the poem seems more lifelike.
Overall, I like it. I look forward to reading more of your work.
| DrunkenMonkeyKing chapter 1 . 1/4/2005
Ah, Beyond Repair, you are probably the only person on FictionPress I've read whose songs I really do like.
One of the reasons I like them is because I actually get an image in my head reading them. In the first three stanzas you get this image of someone shivering in this dark, filthy cave overgrown with moss and cold water flowing by in a shallow stream.
Then (in the last two) suddenly part of the cave crumbles away and there's this little beam of light that seems so bright in comparison to the cave. Then you can see the person just crawling towards it, mud and blood streaked over their face but hope in their eyes, and then at the last line, it just bursts all into light.
Sorry if I kinda rambled on for a bit. To condense everything I just said into two sentences:
I liked the poem, good job.
Hope to see you update soon.
PS: I've actually started writing The Melody of Fire again (much better this time, I might add) and since you were always one of my favorite reviewers, figured I'd let you know.
| i was a postcard chapter 1 . 11/4/2004
Such a great format, I love stuff like this...the...how do I put it? Cold. Alone. Deep within this cave. The two words and then...bah I'm not making any sense! Alright, the system or whatever that you used was very effective. I hope you know what I mean. :)