I like this, and the rhyming is almost always right on. And even then it doesn't seem forced, just not quite as natural as in other parts. What I really like about your poetry is that the end of a line is not always the end of the sentence or flow of words, as that is a problem with quite a few poets on fictionpress. I can't wait for you next post!

There were smal spelling errors but besides that, this sounds really good. I enjoyed reading this.