|Reviews for अस त त व, The Past|
| Final Ecstasy chapter 1 . 3/19/2005
namā kavitā bahut acchī hai.
but however, i suggest you use a more precise romanizing/transliterating style for your hindi romanized text.
like the way you spelled childhood as 'bachpun'[as to me you made it sound like 'butchpoun('ou' as in could').(the 'ch' would be more like a harder sounding 'ch' sound, sorta like a regular english one. something more accurate would be 'bacpan'(a'u' sound as in 'gun' or 'plum'. and 'c' is supposed to be a sharper sound of 'ch').
another thing u can try is to represent the long 'a' sound better. try 'aa' or 'ā' like 'kyaa'or 'kyā'(what) and 'aap' or 'āp'[you(formal/plural) form]
i understand if its hard for u to know how to it properly. i know my traditional language is very weird compared to english as in sounds and its very tough to how to spell it in english. (I'm still learning hindi by the way so i didn't understand much of your poem with execption of a few words) hope my suggestion helps
| Ashes of a Willow chapter 1 . 12/17/2004
*cool! another language!* yes..the weakness of holding onto the past, something I am familiar with. But, forgiving is not the same as forgetting. I'm slowly learning to forgive, but I will never forget..and I don't want to, because it's from these experiences and memories that we can see our mistakes and learn from them. we can only become stronger..that's the beauty of life. *okay, enough of the spirital talk. keep up the great work!
| Marilynagram chapter 1 . 11/16/2004
Hm. I almost wish the end wouldn't just kind of repeat the first line. Maybe have it more concluding. I don't know. Very simple. Scary past since childhood and the person is scaed of it but that is how the world is. Very simple. Maybe you could add more? To add more depth. I have the basics. Now maybe you could build more layers onto the foundation.