well...the story has a good start, but I to be honest I got a little bored half way through with how it was being told

I really liked the begging with the "once upon a time" thing. That was awesome!

But as for the descriptions ect... you might want to try and cut out some of the "junk" words, or so my English teacher had always called them. Your writing train of thought, which is great for thinking, but not so great for writing. My personal preference tip; When you listing things, keep the bullets sweet and simple to get the point across with out any extra information that you could add in to the story later as the plot progresses! The wonderful thing about books is that the reader’s imagination invents it’s own version of your story, so leave some details out and it makes it more fun! You’re off to a good start, and ill be watching for the next chapter, so keep it coming!

PS. In CA mum is pronounced mom! *grins and winks* but that’s kinda cute. Oh and thanks for your review on my poem! I’m always looking for reviews, and if you can find the time, check out some of my other stuff!

Cool. I think you captured the feelings perfectly. My parents are still together and happy, so I don't know how it would go, but this seems about right.

omgosh... what a cliffhanger! your story is really intriguing ) i like the humor... and is that sarcasm? *sigh* still can't identify what's sarcasm and what's not after high school.

anywayz... please do update soon )btw.. thanks for reviewing my story ~!

Hiya! I love this first chapter! I love the characterization of the main character, and what a lovely name! I look forward to more of this and especially to more of Alicia's character. She seems like a real airhead, but even airheads have their own opinions and thoughts...or so I've read somewhere. Great job!