Reviews for Muera el Mundo
Selah Ex Animo chapter 1 . 12/9/2004
Oh wow! A poem in Spanish. Very nice. You did a great job with the language (so says my rudimentary knowledge...)! Your grasp on Spanish and Irish Gaelic is marvelous! Keep up the great work!

God bless,

- Selah
Tasiha chapter 1 . 12/1/2004
Whosh... don't try to belittle your grasp of Spanish as you do in your er... profile. That was a beautiful poem!

I wonder... did you rhyme intentionally? you must have. I don't know collequial (spelling, sorry) Spanish well enough to determine if my general rule pulls through here-write the line for the poem and not to rhyme. Not sure if it works for Spanish because it's so easy to rhyme in Spanish (so many words with similar endings). So er... geez. If you are going to go over it, I would say make sure the words you use at the end of the line are chosen because they are powerful end-of-line words, not because they rhyme. Because I don't speak enough Spanish, I cannot determine whether or not this actually shows up in the poem. -.- sorry!

Drowsy chapter 1 . 11/28/2004
Realmente muy bueno, ¡incluso rima! Debe ser muy difícil hacer rimas en otro algunos pequeños errores que ya corrigió Manuel.
Aracne Athalya chapter 1 . 11/24/2004
I liked it... its good that you try to write poems in Spanish... so I do with my song letters in English. Its a good way to learn. Please pay attention to Manuels suggestions, which I think will increase the level of your poem. I hope youll continue wrtiting in my language, this has been good. Cheers ;)Aracne Athalya
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 11/24/2004
A-aqui te envio unas pocas recomendaciones para "Muere el Mundo"-m

Muere el sol bajo las nubesEn un cielo sin estrellas llora la lunaAsfixia la tierra la ignorancia de la genteEl mundo se contamina con avaricia tontamenteCon avaricia insensata sufre el mundoLa indiferencia humana llama des lo mas profundoNo se preocupa la gente con las consecuenciasMuere el planeta de apatía y abandonoPor falta de amor el ambiente se pierdeEmpeoramiento vasto y rápidoA la carnicería caen fauna y floraY más y más vida muere con cada hora¿Por qué no lo ves?