Reviews for Kiku Yume
KatriAdriah chapter 10 . 8/21/2008
It's been so long since i read this! I could hardly believe it when i dug it up out of my old reviews. I love this eay this ended. You really have some talent! You should definately make this a manga.
KatriAdriah chapter 1 . 12/16/2005
Awesome!this totally rocks!the cliff hanger was perfect timing!I almost cried at parts.
theShapeofLight chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Wow...chapter one and the plot already begins. I love it!

Elf
Shadow E. Katt chapter 2 . 6/14/2005
You might want to fix either the last paragraph or the third to last because in the third to last it says Suzuri had gray eyes, but the last paragraph said Suzuri had hazel eyes. Was that deliberate? Good writing otherewise!
KylaranAeldin chapter 8 . 6/6/2005
Very nice. Defintely have a good story going here. There's a very nice balance between emotionale expression and simplistic writing style, which can be ahrder to achieve without using bigger words and more complex, longer sentences.

You can use more descriptions in some areas, not just describing inside emotions. Small actions like a character turning their face away, or shuffling their feet, or even playing with their thumbs can help give the writing a very good feel.

Apart from that, you do a fine job with the story overall, since that's only a subjective, and small, thing that I like to focus on.

Oh, and in the previous chapter, the old man said: "Neechan" but it would most likely be more proper to say: "Ojouchan" or just "Jouchan" since the "o" symbols formality, respect, and sometimes honorifics.
JaveHarron chapter 5 . 5/28/2005
Okay, so there's a possible enemy introduced here. However, what exactly do the Guardians protect against?
Adrian Parker chapter 8 . 5/26/2005
WOW!
JaveHarron chapter 5 . 5/21/2005
Okay, interesting chapter here. Kana seems to have an "It's a Wonderful Life" type thing going on, since it seems like she was 'never born.' I'm interested to find out what 'Guardians' are, though.
JaveHarron chapter 4 . 5/21/2005
Okay, I see the male character finally admits feelings to Kana. Your characters are also write about the fact in romance, there must be a mutual attraction. Thankfully, you didn't go to the cliche "idealistic love affair destined by fate/heaven/God" stuff. There's too much of that going around, and not enough 'happiness through who you know ideas.' Thanks for putting in a bit like that and going against that deterministic trend.
JaveHarron chapter 3 . 5/19/2005
Okay, a mysterious chapter. The main character is obviously having some reality issues. However, it seems the fellow in the tree has a part to play in it.
JaveHarron chapter 2 . 5/19/2005
Okay, seems like a normal manga high-school here. A few strange incidents, but I have a feeling those will be explained in time, and this will become something other than a high school manga.
Destiny852 chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
Wow! Great opening! I loved this alot!
JaveHarron chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
Okay, interesting set up. Immortals falling in love seems to be a theme of yours, at least in this story and Road Less Traveled By. Speaking of, I'm going to check this story out a bit more after I'm done with that.
AloneintheRain chapter 7 . 3/2/2005
hehe i'm back _ really is going awesome so far.
sora'sgirlkairi chapter 7 . 1/9/2005
this story confuses me too much! But i think its a good story so far! _Im just gonna read the next chapter now! heh heh
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