|Reviews for Dexog|
| Faster-than-without-water chapter 1 . 9/13/2005
*You could have at least let me THINK it would be painless
It would make your piece look more professional if you spelled out numbers.
Interesting first chapter, usually I probably would never have read the entire chapter, it not having a summary, but the first line was so intriguing I had to read on. I would suggest more imagery but if this is tone your going for then more power to ya.
| Ryka chapter 7 . 1/23/2005
The action, suspense, and characters make your stories very interesting. I enjoy them quite a bit. However, there are a few things you could improve.
1. PROOFREAD! Use spell check, proofread yourself, and have someone else proofread it for you. You have quite a few mindless errors with typos and homophones.
2. Improve the flow of your stories. Sometimes they are a little disjointed and, consequently, confusing.
3. Don't start so many plot threads that you can't tie them all up in the end. I love the suspense you create by dropping little hints and not explaining them, but make sure you provide the reader resolution of all those thoughts by the end of the story. I noticed this first in "What Money Buys" when, at the end of the story, I was left with more questions than answers about what happened and what role certain characters played. You are starting to do the same thing here in "Dexog."
Overall, I think you have very interesting action and plotlines. Thus far in "Dexog," the violence is interesting and not too excessive, as it sometimes seemed to be in "What Money Buys." The whole eating the wing event was sufficiently horrifying without being too explicit. I can't wait to find out more about Dexog and Cervantez. You have used excellent characterization for Dexog. You might consider developing Tez a little more.
| phoenix-rising626 chapter 1 . 1/8/2005
Your writing sux so bad, i cried, not becuase it was good but bc it sucked so bad.
| Rouge Angel chapter 6 . 12/31/2004
your character developement is amazing, the plot is also very interesting, i cant wait to read more. try to squeaze a little more in next chapter.
| Kayla chapter 6 . 12/31/2004
Oh now it gets interesting. Two bounty hunters that have already practically given up their souls are on a demon hunt. What could get better than that?
| tmasfriend chapter 6 . 12/6/2004
Good story so far...please watch your use of homophones! (You're more credible as an author if you do.) Quite a few words used incorrectly. I want more info on Bergesees. What does the name mean?
| darkmage78 chapter 2 . 11/26/2004
It's an interesting story and pretty well written. I don't even know if I found any typos or anything. I always liked the stories when you have no idea what's going on at the beginning. Your story does that very well:) Keep up the good work, I'll be back for more:P