Reviews for Dag And Andreyan
jorj15 chapter 7 . 12/19/2004
hey i like it a lot but why do you always put to be continued
JM chapter 7 . 12/17/2004
Me again. Lia never lets me have a say in the author's note, so here I am far we have up to chapter 23 written. I'm working on 25 now but its so hard to find the time!Chapters twenty through twenty-five are real word, so stay tuned...
Darkladyknight chapter 7 . 12/16/2004
Wow, still great. I just love this story. Halen is bad, and he needs to leave poor Andreyan alone. Anways love the story, keep it up.
equine chapter 7 . 12/15/2004
whoo, i finally read it all and it's getting so good! i can't wait for some serious action between dag and andreyan. and i hope dirk and gage get together! they would make SUCH a cute couple!

anyways, loved it all, and pleeaasee update soon!
Porn Yesterday chapter 7 . 12/15/2004
Aww so damn cute! _ I love Dirk, if Gage doesn't want him, I'm willing to take him for myself *eyes Dirk hesitently* But...PHEW good thing Dag didn't -actually- break up with Adreyan, it would've been sad T_T Adreyan is so cute, why do all the good guys gotta be gay? _
Miss Lilian chapter 7 . 12/15/2004
*burst into tears* that was so sweet! i dont care if they fought! they made up and thats all that matters... *sniff* do i even have to say it? well yes i feel i must... update soon _
Green Forest chapter 7 . 12/15/2004
I liked this chapter and I don't think you used -ing to much, or at least I didn't notice it, it flowed. I was so worried for a while there, I wonder what will hapen next.
SatisfyAnEmptyInside chapter 7 . 12/15/2004
Wee! How cute! Dirk is so annoyingly loveable! And somebody need to kick Halen...REALLY hard. Heh. Add soon!
Vivica Ashkevron chapter 7 . 12/15/2004
It's so cute! I love it, please keep on adding chapters!
equine chapter 4 . 12/15/2004
sorry, i just had to review again! this was an awesome chapter! the ending was the best!

and legend of zelda is the best game ever!1! and QAF rocks all socks! _
equine chapter 1 . 12/14/2004
I really like the story line so far! It's really good and i can't wait to see how the two get together.

But a little critique here, if you don't mind:the only thing that bothered me about this first chapter is that you're too descriptive. Descriptive is good, don't get me wrong, but i think you went overboard on this chapter. Telling quirks is fine, like the roommate's tendency to wear sandals, but the descriptions of different outfits down to the finest detail and every single action the main character does tends to get really tedious. you gotta leave a lot of it up to the reader's imagination, ya know? It'll appeal to more people that way too (like if the reader is able to dress the character in his or her own personal faviorite clubbing outfit.)

sorry the review was kinda long. being an AP english student and a writer i absolutely love critique but i never get it so i think i make up for it by giving it out by the bucketload. sorry 'bout that. ;;

Anyways, great story so far, and i'll probably review again before i finish reading the six chapters you've already published. *heart*
Lily chapter 6 . 12/14/2004
OOH! I really like this story...I was searching for a good romance like this_ I hope you guys keep up the writing!

Oh, and...I'm really sorry, but I have to agree with my fellow reviewer...the verbs at the beginning of most of the sentences are rather nerve-wracking. Don't get me wrong, I love yeah_ Keep it up!
Green Forest chapter 6 . 12/14/2004
Awesome story, at first I wasn't sure if I'd like it, but now I'm firmly entrenched. Dirk seems like an...interesting character, he's cool though, he adds comic relief and all that stuff. Is Ky really straight, or am I just missing something?
Miss Lilian chapter 6 . 12/14/2004
that was really good. cant wait for the next chapter
arcangelic-the winged chapter 1 . 12/14/2004
I think you could have a really lovely story here, there are just a few things that "bug" me personally so I;m not gonna speak for other people but:

all your sentences start with a present continuous (verbing), which I find quite annoying, and you tend to describe things a little too much to my taste

It's a great concept, but I really was discouraged to read this because of thise things.

Sorry, Arc
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