Reviews for Ahead of Time
FlamingDuo chapter 1 . 8/5/2006
Freaking boring. We can see why you stopped at one chapter, you probably got bored with it too. A few pointers: Don't be redundant. The story is already long and boring without you repeating yourself, for example: "a badge lay on the left side of her chest. It’s shiny luster retained three identical objects. They were doves, made of the purest ivory..." Could be better said: her chest. It’s shiny luster retained three doves..." isn't that better? it sure is. Also, find a better word then 'retained'. that word doesn't fit there, and it bugs. Anyway. Dumb story, scrap it. And read "The Art of War" THEN write a story about alien invasion trying to take over a new planet. It'll probably give you some ideas of how an alien species would go about global takeover. Untill then, your story sucks monkey's brains for intelligence.
Uncle-Al2 chapter 1 . 3/29/2005
RaptorInteresting story, the Admiral seems a wuss to me though. The fragile ecosystem of the Licathans make them extremely vulnerable to coercion. Submit or perish (Motto of Special Forces associated with hearts and minds). I don't know if this was the right story to start with, but I liked it. Thanks for sharing!