Reviews for Jazz Killed Itself
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/20/2008
I like this piece a lot. All the descriptions of the person are really interesting and different. I especially the the part about his fingers and the 41 trillion Hail Marys... it's such an unusual number which makes it perfect.

The flow of the piece was pretty good, except a few spots struck me as odd. The fourth line of the piece seemed a bit out of place lengthwise. Also these lines "when you know you shouldn't be drinking./Or sleeping. At least not that kind of sleeping/-with the creaking" splitting up the drinking and sleeping like that seemed odd especially since it wasn't actually a sentence and the last line there seemed a bit short.

One issue in the piece was the sentences. You punctuated things correctly for sentences for the most part, but then there were spots that didn't. Like the second stanza isn't actually a sentence. And the Since hitchhikers line... it seemed like it was a runon into the next stanza, but sentencewise it didn't seem like it was punctuated correctly.

However I really loved the idea of the piece. There are numerous amounts of pieces describing people, but the length of this piece really incorporated a lot of details and as I said before most of them were really unique.

All in all I really enjoyed the piece. I really got a taste of who this person was. I could picture the behavior in my head and that made it a really great read for me. Really awesome piece
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
I like how the descriptions of the person simultaneously say things about society, and life in general.

"clinging to you lips while he whispers the"

-I think that supposed to be "your lips"

Complex, interesting piece, I like it.



-I love that.
erasedcrap chapter 1 . 12/16/2004
Very good. Perfect flow and sound. Ginsburish except makes a little more sense and isn't about liking boys.I liked it a lot.
clockwork kiss chapter 1 . 12/7/2004
Oh my God. That was brilliant. Absolutely, undeniably inspired. The flow was... well, I have no words in my miniscule little vocabulary to tell you what you probably already know about your divine flow, besides the fact that it was incredible. The word play was -fantastic-, and the topic was heartbreakingly true. Ah, the times when poetry was actually considered a valuable art, and... Eh, but you also already know your own subject. Anyways, this was more wonderful than I could ever tell you. You have made an undying fan and earned yourself a favorite stories slot, though that seems inconsequential for something like this.
kit feral chapter 1 . 12/7/2004
Wow. Just... wow. I read it, and it's... well... wow. Lol, I sound so stupid... but I don't know what else to say! This was just so... WOW!
Quintet Blue chapter 1 . 12/6/2004
Amazing. If I was more coherent I would compare your style to Allen Ginsburg's (especially the reading out loud fast bit) and talk about stunningly evocative lines that are terribly lovely. If I was more coherent. Am now ashamed of my own writing.