Reviews for The Dance of the Ballerina
GingerBookworm chapter 1 . 12/8/2008
That was beautiful.
Saikai chapter 1 . 12/15/2006
43 people added you to their favorites now!
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 6/20/2006
I like the first three stanzas. The rhythm is really nice. The last two stanzas kinda got thrown from the rhythm, though, and I didn't like those as much. Very angsty, though. Keep writing! :)
whacked chapter 1 . 2/22/2006
this poem moves something inside. "she wanders ever so aimlessly" i don't know why, but that line is the one that truly touches me. i'm not too sure about the fourth stanza, but i really love this you were right about the "they" word, i had thought i had already changed it, guess i must have forgotten.
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 2/6/2006
I think ballerina's are so mysterious and almost mythical (they move unnaturally) such hard positions but they do it with so much grace. I think a big part of me has always been obsessed with them. This is a very lovely piece; she creates beauty through the movement of her body for a boy who will never see it. Wonderful idea. Keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.
sunshower chapter 1 . 4/21/2005
yes, I'm taking you up on your offer. This is not amazingly detailed or complex, but there is something in it which rings deep. I'm not surprised at its review count.
black-tear-stained chapter 1 . 4/8/2005
I agree with Chris- more descriptive words would add emotion to the poem. The top reason I like this poem is because of its origionality...very unique. keep up the good work

ps. thanks for R R my work
Christopher Konopka chapter 1 . 3/12/2005
the way the message was conveyed with the use of the ballerina was unique, i don't think many would of thought of it. the poem has good flow, but my only thing would be to use more desriptive words to help increase the emotion of a poem. vocabulary is always a plus in the world, but overall i really enjoyed it. and as well thank you for reviewing my work.

use of the statement "vending machines pissing on people" is a foreshadowment to the third stanze where it speaks of violating life. it has to do with the use of societal and technological views making us not think anymore.
Jocelyn Raye chapter 1 . 3/12/2005
Nice! I liked your repitition. Very nice...
CostumeForAGutterball chapter 1 . 3/3/2005
I like this one. Quite nice-evokes a sense of longing...least I think so...well done-tis beautiful!
Anomander chapter 1 . 2/27/2005
The poem is absolutely beautiful. The rythm and rhyme were excellent and the only thing I can tell you is "Bravo". Although this is beautiful, you could have continued. You could have described an imaginary part, where you graceful hero gives in to crying and moaning. Just an idea here. P.S Good poem!
Asala chapter 1 . 2/18/2005
I like the rhythm of this poem, and the repetition of 'the ballerina dances' is a great technique, and really works with this poem.
Rebecca Kelsey chapter 1 . 1/10/2005
sweet poem
myno chapter 1 . 1/8/2005
The general editing comment meant exactly that- if i were to take this poem apart and point out all the changes that I think would make it flow better, it would take more time than it's worth to me. Basically, I think the poem sounds raw, as if it were a first draft or something. Some of the rythm and wording is awkward, and as a result the poem does not flow smoothly. If that commentary is still useless, fine. You don't have to pay attention to my reviews.
Dinny chapter 1 . 1/8/2005
Here I am, to backreveiw.

I really like the formation and some of the rhymes here that I see, but I must criticise on one thing.

Despite the simpleness and deft in this, it does describe a lot of good emotion, And I'm probably just being all nitwick-picky on this, but I would have liked an image of this grace of hers, a physical image of this ballerina.

When I have the time.. I shall look through more of your poetry. You seem very good, indeed. I add you to my favorite Authors list.
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