Reviews for The Binary Conflict
KuranthiaValentine chapter 6 . 3/10/2005
Have sirius have a little more of a disbelief reaction when the old man reveals the things to him. and when he talks about his dads death to himself after he wakes up, put that as a description in the paragraph, i doubt anyone would say something like that to themselves.
KuranthiaValentine chapter 5 . 3/10/2005
hmm. in the first paragraph, indulge more in Leonas thoughts. she just lost everyone in a matter of minutes, id be pissed. when the golom appears, itd be funny if you had someone run from the room screaming. and you dont speak of Leona rummaging through the village in chapter 4... pop that in somewhere .
KuranthiaValentine chapter 4 . 3/10/2005
Your speaches seem a bit forced. such as where sirius says 'ok thats reasonable i can accept that' or something near the begining of the chapter. be sure to keep your speaches as normal as possible. i know its hard i still have that problem and ive been writing for years.
KuranthiaValentine chapter 3 . 3/10/2005
well sweetie, Wesley seems like an ass and i think thats what you wanted. Aside from some punctuational errors and grammatical errors its good. watch out for things like 'geezer' and things of that nature. On your last paragraph on ch 3 you might want to discribe what it looked like as the attack happened.. its a little fuzzy. explain how Leona felt, and discribe a bit better how Oakale looked.. is it like the Ewok tree houses in Star Wars? btw this is for ch 2 and 3 .
animedorkette chapter 2 . 3/1/2005
hey this is fun , tehe. update!
animedorkette chapter 1 . 3/1/2005
hehe , we find ways to be sneeky and review twice yes , hehe . thanks so much for the poem review , glad you like me more than physics_. you no I love the story and cant wait for the next chapter . save it on the magic of a floppy disk or something but update!love ya!
KuranthiaValentine chapter 1 . 2/17/2005
Very good start.. nice detail on history..little too blocky on the wayit is worded. why r they atwar with each other? who started what how? did the oposing planet become inhabited? same way as the tech planet?
Frosted Midnight chapter 10 . 2/12/2005
yay foodfight! whats gonna happen ! I must no! please please please please please update again!
Frosted Midnight chapter 9 . 1/30/2005
yay you updated , no evil cliffies ! evil evil evil! you have to update again soon , i wanna no what happens!
Ryukoji chapter 9 . 1/30/2005
Hiya! Whats up? I like it! I cant wiat for more! yay1 Im glad you updated fast! After the nes paper route i did last night i didnt get home till 11:00pm-7:ooam I was tred! didnt wake up till 2:00pm! Hope you slept well! oh i should of updated my story by now.. its really long! Well hopw you find the time to update again soon! .

Frosted Midnight chapter 8 . 1/28/2005
yay you updated , awsome! oh i want to no what happens! update again soon!
Ryukoji chapter 8 . 1/28/2005
Hiya! Yay! an update! I love updates! I realy like the fact that the plot begins to thicken here. There are so many opertunities opened with this chapter that it is totally unpredictable!Which is excellent. I hate predictabel stories. thas why mine has so many twist. Lol! I guess Ill just have to wait for the next chappy! Ill try to be patient! .

ADSpencer chapter 2 . 1/24/2005
I'm starting to like Sirius more. Very interesting. . . the dreams and the magic.
ADSpencer chapter 1 . 1/24/2005
I like how this story begins. I'll be sure to read the next few chapters.
Frosted Midnight chapter 7 . 1/22/2005
oh! yay you updated ! oh whats gonna happen ? i gotta no! update again soon!
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