Reviews for An Honest Girl
animeshiredane chapter 5 . 1/8/2005
I read all five chapters before I reviewed, if you don't mind. Well, first things first. I greatly enjoyed your story. I'm a Christian, and I've read stories kind of like this before (but usually it's set in modern times), but this is the best (and longest) one I've read of this type. (Maybe I'm not reading as much as I should. I'm sure there are longer ones.) I liked how you were able to reconstruct the event recorded in the Bible and make it a coherent short story. I don't know if you need to continue it, but I think the conflict between Mary and Sarah could be resolved later (maybe after a few years?) if you were. The dialogue is a bit strange (but they had slang back then, right?), but if you want, go back and make it more "time-less." I was a little taken-back with Joseph's attitude to his parents. I don't know if that would have been acceptable (of course, people have always been sinners and not respectful at all, or any, times), but if it was uncommon for him, it definitely shows the stress Joseph was under at the time. I think to make this and other emotional markers clear, you might have to clarify for the average reader the expected behavior of "back-then" in first century Palestine. Um, I enjoyed Gabriel and his being both a messenger of God and a "ministering spirit sent to serve those who will inherit salvation" (Heb.1:14). If you continued, it would be interesting to include the two other visits to Joseph in dreams. I was disappointed that you didn't quote what Gabriel actually said-you know, get Joseph listening to him and then deliver the message, and then encourage him... I need to quit. Wonderful story. God's grace be with you.
ImePrincess chapter 4 . 1/2/2005
Very nice story so far. I love how you make everything seem so real in your writing. I'm glad that you made the facts of the story very detailed and the faith!

CaffineAnonymous chapter 3 . 1/1/2005
Very nice... but how Biblically accurate do you want to be? cause Joseph was about to break it off until the angel came. But, hey, this is your twist, and so..yeah. update soon!
Alexis Kent chapter 3 . 12/31/2004
Yay, another chapter! - Good job. It's a very interesting, thought-provoking look into Joseph's mind. Kudos. :)
Alexis Kent chapter 2 . 12/30/2004
Very interesting. I would recommend changing the first chapter. The dialogue is too modern (like Joseph saying, "Guys!"), and I don't believe he lived with his family. You may also want to work on the accuracy of the second chapter. I believe in the Bible he didn't know her child was from God until he had the vision. :) All in all, it's very good, but it needs a lot of revision.
CaffineAnonymous chapter 2 . 12/23/2004
Wow. This is a whole new twist. Ilike it. please continue and update soon :)
evm chapter 2 . 12/23/2004
I love your spin on the story, you're handling it with such reality. And just in time for Chritmas
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 12/22/2004
I really liked this a lot. It's very appropriate for this time of year too. I've never read a story that portrayed Joseph like this and went inside his mind and stuff. Even though this is taking place 20 years ago, it doesn't feel like it, and that's good. From the summary I would imagine that you plan on writing more chapters of this. I'm actually eager to read more of it, even though we all know what happens. You give it a welcoming fresh look. Good job.