|Reviews for Days|
| GjK chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
Very interesting :). I like this so far, but there are a couple of little editing errors. You prologue is intriguing, however it is composed of two run-on sentences.
"It was a day like any other, except for the morbid chill that nipped at her bony arms as she stood in the cool October breeze listening intently to the jay bird voiced reverend with tears flooding her eyes."
Read this one out loud to yourself. There are too many clauses to make up just one sentence.
"She glared down at the pale soft skinned corpse that was once a lively girl who was always full of life and spirit now lay silently in a red velvet lined coffin, her final resting place."
Same as above with this sentence. You have great descriptions! If you remove a couple of modifiers this prologue will really pop.
Hypothetical example: "She glared down at the pale, soft-skinned corpse that was once a lively girl, always full of life and spirit, now laying silently in her final resting a place, a red velvet coffin."
That is still a bit of a mouthful, but you get the idea. Just keep reworking the sentences until you get them into an order that flows verbally and that you think best conveys your story.
| kfjhbvasiuhvauvba chapter 8 . 3/31/2009
Please continue this story! I know you haven't updated since 2006, and one reader telling you to continue probably won't do any good in convincing you to keep going, but your story is really good and is interesting. CONTINUE PLEASE!
| Forget-The-Sorrow chapter 9 . 9/2/2005
Great story! Please update soon!
| tickle-me-pretty15 chapter 9 . 6/23/2005
Don't leave your story is great. Ugh now im going to sob int a corner.
| Ashley chapter 8 . 5/25/2005
awsome I think your story's text is becoming better as you go along I still love this story its good to see that you have updated!
| tickle-me-pretty15 chapter 8 . 5/25/2005
hey tis was welly great. can't wait till the next one laters.
| nfgcassie chapter 7 . 5/20/2005
| Behind-these-eyes chapter 7 . 5/4/2005
Darcie... update. update now... or finally show me the trigger story... please?
| Sky is Gray chapter 7 . 3/30/2005
I really like this. I just really want to hug Theo. Keep updating!
| FadingDarkness chapter 7 . 3/17/2005
Good chapter! I really like your story so far! Update as soon as you can!
| tickle-me-pretty15 chapter 7 . 3/17/2005
this is really great lol. i9 can't wait to your next chapter. (love all your work) XD so hope to see the next chapter real soon.
| tickle-me-pretty15 chapter 6 . 3/6/2005
hehe this is a cute story can't wait till your next update
| what-climbed-up-ur-arse chapter 6 . 2/14/2005
the story's great plz continue.. can't wait for more. update soon.. ciao
| Ashley chapter 6 . 2/13/2005
man what is with you people and ending it in suspence...huh...huh...*shakes fist* I'll get you back goobermister...thats right I said it and I used it and I'll most likly use it again...hahaha...I'm such a geek
| FadingDarkness chapter 6 . 2/12/2005
Love it...Update as soon as ya can!