Reviews for Untitled 12 29 04
angel of sorrow n darkness chapter 1 . 1/2/2005
wow simply perfect that was really really good I loved it great job it was amazing
zamthezombieman chapter 1 . 1/1/2005
It's an okay poem, its kind of like a cleche (Is that how its spelled? A theme repeated over and over) No offense. However, its done pretty well, it just doesnt hold the same emotions as your other work. Rock on: Zam(Its gonna be a long night of reading...)
A Face Worth Remembering chapter 1 . 1/1/2005
Wow. I hate that feeling. I think you forgot some spaces - 6th line of stanza 2 andyou last line of stanza 2 nevereven. I like the ending, it adds reality to the poem, I think so anyway. But rally, a guy like that, wasn't worth keeping in the first place. ~Elli
hiding behind amber eyes chapter 1 . 1/1/2005
aww. so sad. i like it a lot tho! it's simple and to the point
graffiti-skies chapter 1 . 12/30/2004
goes deep...i really liked the ending...guys can be so cruel...*sighs*
mizerable-girl chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
you're really good at these things; a great poet. all of these things are based from your own experiences right..? wow... u live a sad love life... no offense meant
Kusje chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
that was a great poem. full of emotion and really disrcriptive. great job, i loved it.
Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
*sniff* sad! wow... omg... nice. needs a title tho... then again, i cant think of one so forget that! good wrtingis!
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
Nice play with the missing spaces in the words and the missing person in the heart. ┬┐Does that count as a pun? m
ApplesCM chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
:( Sad poem, but I love it. Well written. I feel bad for you now. :(
xHannahx chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
ooh, thats painful its so well put. you do have a few space issues (some one, nevereven) but other than that this is a lovely reflection.

Han.
gnimrodd chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
mm.. i like the ending.. in fact i like the whole thing.. it's realyl awful and sad when "he" likes someone else, even more so when he used to be yours and i hate how it doesn't get better even when he seems to move on pretty easily.. i'm sorry and i hope things get better.. great poem

-gnimrodd
myno chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
i love the middle bit... and the ending's fine.
Sat Hari chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
Good job! Loved your emotion. the only suggestion is to maybe replace the word "automatically" in the first stanza. It seems to disrupt the flow and elegance of the poem.
dcopulsky chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
The lines seemed to be chopped up in a forced way. While the phrase "shattered heart" might really be the right thing to put, the phrase in general seems over used and just reads kind of fake. Honestly, I almost laughed when I read those two words. They might be the right thing to use for your poem, but I think that you might want to reconsider simply because the way the have been used by so many others has made people often look down on that phrase. I'm not sure if you this is intentional, but in a few place words run together ("andyou", "nevereven"). If it's intentional, I don't get it; if not, you should probably take a quick look over the poem and edit it. I think you should throw a title on, even if you just kind of take the first line. On a positive note, I think the poem has something very original to say. I've heard the whole missing someone thing before, but I don't think I've heard the being replaced part ever.
16 | Page 1 2 Next »