|Reviews for Ticket to Atlantis|
| Krys chapter 10 . 1/6/2005
You had me scared in the beginning. Which is just what you were going for, I'm sure. I thought, ‘Oh no. It all was just a dream.’ Well…maybe in a way it was.
Incredible story. I hope to see more work from you soon. As I said from the first chapter on, great work! I mean this is really, really good. Good luck with writing in the future. You definitely have skills. I’ll check every so often to see if you’ve posted anything new, but feel free to e-mail me and let me know as well. I’m a faithful fan ; ).
| Krys chapter 9 . 1/6/2005
I'd be screaming 'No!' if it wouldn't make the people around me think I am crazy. Once again you have left me enthralled in suspense with a terrible sense of foreboding (well except for the foreboding part…most of the suspense before this has been a sort of good suspense).
Anyway I have to finish this now or I’d leave a more detailed review…lol
| Krys chapter 8 . 1/5/2005
It's good to see her sitting down and really thinking about things, not just absorbing stuff as it comes to her. This converstation with Rinaar was short, but explained a lot and said everything that needed to be said.
Once again I liked your metaphors when describing the sex, and that you didn't make it too raunchy, but you also didn't leave out fun details ;).
Another good one...
| Krys chapter 7 . 1/5/2005
The last line fron Rinaar was delivered in the best way. Even though I completly expected it, it was still sort of shocking.
In the second sentence you said "...think about what was had been happening...". Might want to fix that, but it's the first error I've seen in you're whole story, so kudos for that.
Great interaction between everyone at the table. The dialogue was smooth and I never had any question about who was speaking.
Do I really have to say great chapter again? J/k
| SiobhanO chapter 10 . 1/5/2005
no offense but im kinda confsed - could you explain in the next chapter what exactly has happened?plz update soon :)
| Krys chapter 6 . 1/5/2005
I was a little shocked that Bronwen allowed things to go all the way, but this was still an altogether beautiful chapter. You were very detailed about the sex, but you weren’t explicit or vulgar about it. You made it soft and pleasant. Nice work.
I also liked the comparison between their passion and the sea, how the waves were washing over them as they were climaxing. Also, the mention of his eyes resembling stormy seas…
Another great chapter! Are you getting tired of reading that yet? Lol
| Krys chapter 5 . 1/5/2005
This chapter was incredible. You used a lot more description than usual and all of it was lovely. My favorite paragraph was the one describing Rinaar's home. The figurative language in that paragraph is just...very lovely (sorry to be repeditive, but my thesarus isn't with me at the moment...lol).
I like that you're creating a legend about the people who live on Atalantis. That each one has their own diori and that each skill contributes to the way they live and so on. I wonder if Bronwel will develop a diori of her own since Rinaar has one and didn't originally come from Atalantis himself (or at least at some point his family had to come from somewhere else, because you did say that the fish like people were the natives, not humans).
In any case, once again, awesome chapter! Can't wait for more.
| Krys chapter 4 . 1/5/2005
O…again with the suspense at the end.
It does seem a little weird that such a logical, intelligent woman as Bronwen would just accept the long passageway that keeps going and going. And that, when she arrives to her destination, she also just accepts everything that’s there, but I guess she really did need the vacation.
And hey, a real life appearance from a man in her dreams. Wish that would happen to me sometime…
Anyway, on to see what’s going on with this island and why it’s sinking.
Another great chapter!
| Krys chapter 3 . 1/5/2005
Oh, things are just getting really exciting. Can't wait to read what happens next!
I'm glad to see Chloe again. It probably seems silly, but a lot of writers here (on fictionpress) will bring in a character for one use, and then toss them to the sidelines where we never see them again. The consistancy here is a big relief. I don't mind getting to know new characters, but I love coming back to old ones.
This chapter was short, but you still moved the story along further, and put in enough suspence at the end to keep the reader wanting more. Great job again!
| Krys chapter 2 . 1/5/2005
All right Bronwen! You go girl! I'm glad to see her taking charge and doing what she wants. Too many women sit idily by and do what everyone else wants.
Again, great chapter. Good dialogue, grammar, spelling. I can't wait to read more!
P.S. Maybe you shouldn't have uploaded all of the chapters at the same time...at least do one a day or something of that nature. People post things quickly here, and by the end of the day this story will be pushed onto the next page where a lot of people wont get to read it, which is a real shame because it is a great piece of writing.
| SiobhanO chapter 1 . 1/4/2005
gr8 story idea:)
| Krys chapter 1 . 1/4/2005
First, let me say that you are a very skilled writer. Sometimes that is hard to find here on fictionpress so I am glad that I cam across this story. Second, this is a lovely begining. You have excellent grammar and spelling, and your sentences flow smoothly. This is something I would not be unimpressed to find in a published novel or short story.
I enjoyed the dream sequence at the begining. I have always thought that dream sequences were great hooks and they rarely fail to hold my attention. So, great job on that.
I don't know if it was intentional, but the alliteration in the sentence "Perched precariously on the..." was nice.
There was just the right amount of dialogue. It wasn't choked with it, but there were conversations that move thingd along and kept things interesting.
I'm just very impressed. Like I said it is hard to find many skilled writers and this chapter has...I don't even know exactly how to describe it. Maybe substance is the word. Geat job and I hope to see another chapter soon.