Reviews for Revenge of a Demon
anikiya chapter 1 . 5/6/2005
love your story. it's fortunate that i love long stories. u should make more stories . keep up the work.
Yoroy chapter 5 . 3/28/2005
No. Lemon next chapter. And have that chapter up soon, or i will come after you, and maybe even get Melony from
Normality's Mistake chapter 1 . 3/8/2005
Lol I won't go...maybe lol I dunno anywho I like this one so far fun fun thanx much for the reviews luv ya
Yoroy chapter 4 . 2/2/2005
Funny, the thought guy should appear more often, preferably after the lemon. I know the lemon is comming, so don't hide it!
yourghost-cyanide-twoshots chapter 4 . 2/2/2005
Gah! Cliffhanger? This chapter was hilarious. It must be hard to um...concentrate...when you have something/someone talking to you. Hehe. Anyway, organization and your clarity overall is getting much better. Keep it up!
Yoroy chapter 3 . 1/20/2005
The heat is difinitly up in this chapter! By the way, I just did my midterms, so ha!JK Do you get out of school early too? Update quicker, and don't worry, midterms arn't as scary as everyone says they are, but I am just smart!
yourghost-cyanide-twoshots chapter 3 . 1/20/2005
Hn...v. nice chapter. More organized than your other ones too. Nice job. Luv the convos with Tai and his demon side. Keep it up! _
yourghost-cyanide-twoshots chapter 2 . 1/11/2005
Very nice chapter. I love the pairing between Tai and Akio and how you jazzed it up with competition. Hehe. Keep it up!
Yoroy chapter 2 . 1/11/2005
I would very much like to know what kind of demon; dog, cat, lust...
Yoroy chapter 1 . 1/6/2005
great story, I was hoping for your other story to be updated.
yourghost-cyanide-twoshots chapter 1 . 1/6/2005
Thanks for reviewing my poem!

You have a phenomenal start on this. The first chapter reveals enough of the plot to interest the reader, but not enough to reveal the whole story, which is very good.

Just a comment on some of your wording though. For example, you write 'Yawn', when it would be easier to read 'Tai yawned'. Of course you could jazz it up a bit with other words or something, but the single word 'Yawn' is a little vague and makes reading a little less smooth than it could be. You are certainly capable of doing this though.

Your writing in general is very good. I can tell from your style that you have a very good plot in mind. However, some of the thoughts are a little abstract. Don't worry, this happens to me all the time. Still happens. It takes a lot of practice to be able to get every detail that you have in your head written down as finely on paper.

Continue with this story! Don't worry about this chapter. It's exceptional. Read over your first chapter and try to look at it with a critical eye. That's hard to do sometimes, but oftentimes, you have the best opinions about your own work.

Write your next chapters paying attention to what you discovered when you looked at your first chapter. Remember that nothing is carved in stone. You can always go back and change things in earlier chapters.

All in all, you have an amazing start and your plot has endless possiblities, which makes it unpredictable. You are able to keep your readers interested because of those qualities.

Woo! That was a long review...O.O...Anyway, great job! And thanks again for reviewing my poem! _

Wishing you all the best in your writing .~,

Aeth Tretiak - ThePianoFiend
Kuroi Neko13 chapter 1 . 1/5/2005
You say you suck at grammar, yet it is better than most peoples' on this site!

Awesome story so far! Are you continuing it?