Reviews for Way It Shoula Been
Eve Amare chapter 1 . 9/9/2007
Wonderful, truly wonderful.

In my opinion, this piece really gives off an angry/upset/crying kind of feel. I really don't know if that is what you were looking for, but it really does for me. I can almost see you writing this, or what I assume could possibly be you (for I have no idea who you are) in a journal with a very harsh type of handwriting, yet with the classic tears streaming down your face (and I myself am not quite sure what kind of tears they are and it's my imagination). Although I mentioned that it gives off the angry/upset/crying type of feel -mostly-, it does have a lot of other emotions strewn into it on certain lines. For example;

"You should have held me / And combed your fingers / Through my hair"

Those three lines really made me feel as if the subject (which I presume is yourself) was longing just to be held, and therefore those lines feel alone, and grieving at the loss of this love while in other lines you can feel the hate the subject has for this lost love.

So before I start rambling uncontrollably, I shall stop myself now with a single word: fantastic.

As Always,

fallin4ualwayz chapter 1 . 7/8/2006
very moving dont worry i kno exactly how ur feeling by the way but the upside 2 feeling depressed is it makes for great writing... nice job!
carissa lies chapter 1 . 8/19/2005
that feels like my life. I loved it. Well written, just brilliant.
Nobody-n-Particular chapter 1 . 8/1/2005
I like the take on this. Very nice.
deathfairy20 chapter 1 . 6/29/2005
very good keep up the excellent work and keep writing you're very gifted ttyl
Decollage chapter 1 . 6/20/2005
Aw... Sad, and kind of angry/resentful. But I like it.
pneumothorax chapter 1 . 5/16/2005
Simple but readable. Nice.
miss-blackhair chapter 1 . 3/30/2005
the poem is soo.. sweet and nice! btw, u can check out my story Daringsville invitation to the gates of hell. its quite ok. review mine if u read it k? )
pointythings chapter 1 . 3/19/2005
Woah, this is the best one yet! I love the detail in this, the way you say specifically what he should have done. Contradictorily (is that a word? oh well), I also loved the vagueness of it; we're not getting exactly what this guy did, we just know he wasn't there, wherever "there" was, and that's all we need to know.

Now, you didn't think you were getting off scot-free, did you? I do have one problem, just a little one. I don't like the line "I never did you wrong." It's a little too informal, a little too slangy for my taste, and for the tone of the poem. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Love the rest, though!
dancingintherain chapter 1 . 2/28/2005
Blaeyk Q'ohle Darqlyte chapter 1 . 2/1/2005
Very good job. Kinda makes the person feel guilty.

It sounds like something she would say before she drives the knife through his heart..

Anyways, good poem, continue writting.

God Bless.

-Blaeyk Q'ohle Darqlye
The Opposite chapter 1 . 1/23/2005
Oh my God, I thought that waws beautiful. No joke. You're a really good writer, and i hope to read more of your poems soon.
darqlyte chapter 1 . 1/13/2005
I should have kissed you, Even just one. To last the rest of your life. I should have held you, and combed my fingers through your hair. I should have said, "I Love You" : Whispered it in your ear. I should have been your knight, slaying dragons, to keep you safe. I should have kept my word. You trusted you, I believed you. I should have been there. You moved Heaven and Earth, to be there with me. I should still be there, cause I know you I know, how much you love me. I should never have left, cause I know how you get, when you're alone. I should have died, rather than betray you. You never did me wrong. I should have married you, you were ready to give any and everything, just for me. It's not right, or fair. I should have kissed you.
whyt forest chapter 1 . 1/12/2005
gorgeous poem...very sad. the mournful longing really came through. it's kind of a haunting line: 'you should have kissed me'. well done indeed.

~whyt forest