|Reviews for Dai's Story|
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 2 . 2/16/2007
I think the first paragraph is a little redundant. Again, the vivid alien descriptions are good. The fight could be smoothed out a little - the first one with Ishi was easier to follow. Nice twist at the end; it makes me curious now!
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 2/16/2007
This is an interesting start and I look forward to reading more. Your descriptions of the various species is interesting. I think you could clean a few passages up - occasionally there is some awkwardness of language. You could leave out this:
"here it is translated into English"
Keep it up!
(you could say I am a little back logged LOL)
| Wogan May chapter 1 . 7/30/2006
This story deserves it's Sci-Fi classification.
I always enjoy stories that throw normal existence out the window of monotony, and this one's one of them.
Most of what I could possibly say has been said, and I'm sure you hate repetition as much as I do. So I won't go there.
I found typos. Why, Nemonus? WHY?
I think i've submitted enough reviews for now. I'll be back later ;)
| Queen Yseult chapter 15 . 7/27/2006
Interesting concept (for the story). Usually I'm not into Science Fiction stories, but I like this one and hope to continue reading it. Some parts are confusing but I eventually understand the basic idea. Good story so far. -Queen Yseult
| Hitoritengu chapter 8 . 2/2/2006
Hmm! A long and interesting chapter! I'm a bit confused with exactly how Dai got lost/separated from his original fleet... but I think that's only because there was so much else to take in. It was a big hit of information. Nevertheless, the descriptions were fair and I enjoyed the read
I hope they find the Dla planet so they can save Ishi T-T That's all I think about these days! My poor, sweet Ishi... lol
| Hitoritengu chapter 7 . 1/27/2006
Ishi! He is so kawaii! And a poet too, though I didn't know it! Hee X3
I hope he'll be okay T-T I worry about him so! Will Dai ever save him? I'd hate for him to get his body taken from him for whatever purpose the Dla want it...
A gentle paced, but well written chapter Update soon!
| Hitoritengu chapter 6 . 12/19/2005
This was, needless to say, a very exciting chapter! Mystery women and unclaimed footsteps! Dun dun dun! I can't wait for the next chapter X3
There weren't as many of your beautiful and creative images in this chapter, but then, it didn't really need them. Everything flowed well, the suspense was built up expertly, and you managed to make me curios about a great many more things! X3 So many unanswered questions! Will they ever be answered? You will need to update so I can find out P Write more! Write more!
| Hitoritengu chapter 5 . 11/7/2005
I'm sorry about your email ;; I got it. I've simply been too busy to reply right away... I have replied, though. I did it just a few minutes ago... Hopefully you'll get it.
Anyway, on with the review! This was a curious chapter indeed! o.o; I'm not sure what I was expecting but it definately wasn't this! Those Dla are just getting creppier and creepier!
I loved the descriptions in this chapter, even the ones about the creepy Dla.
I hope Ishi is okay T-T I liked him...
And I wonder who/what Dai's saviour is? o.o; And will we see Dla-Edja (assuming there is one)? Update soon!
| Hitoritengu chapter 4 . 9/26/2005
I think I disliked this chapter the most. The content was good, as was the symbolism, but, unfortunately, the wording made a lot of the story difficult -if not sometimes impossible- to understand what was going on.
The end of the battle was a little blurry... I'm not quite sure what happened, though I assume Dai is now unconscious or something...
Despite this, I am looking forward to the next chapter. It looks like I finally get to see what Edja was talking about. And I wonder how Edja knew about whatever it is... He didn't fake a battle loss like Dai, so, he couldn't have been to where ever he wants Dai to go. Or could he? Hmm! Suspicious!
| Hitoritengu chapter 3 . 9/4/2005
This chapter seemed rather tame compared to the others - at least, until the end. My curiosity rises ever more! You're so good at twisting the story with intrique I can't wait to read more and find out what will happen next! Please update soon!
| Hitoritengu chapter 2 . 8/15/2005
o.o; poor Edja! Sadly, I had a feeling this was going to happen to him ; Can't say why. The riddle he left us was an interesting one though and I wonder if Dai will figure it out in time! And, just where did Ishi go anyway?
I hope you update soon! I want to find out more about what's going on here!
| Hitoritengu chapter 1 . 8/15/2005
This looks like its going to be a great story! You have so many wonderful descriptions, its easy to picture what's going on. The creativity in this piece is also amazing! Like the way Ishi talks... I never would have thought of that!
*scurries to read chapter two*