I really am enjoying this story. Very nice how this chapter was written. I felt the emotions.

hi ur story is simply gr8 .i loved it very much.

it felt like i was one of the characters.

but the thing wont u finish the story?

plzz finish it i'm eager wat hapns at the end.

coronation street! hollyoaks! east enders! lol

i was about to think the story was going slowish but i think now really like how you waited until the 2nd chapter before anything happened xD

next one please! this is god

I just picked this story up because after rereading melody and Carter (which needs to be updated!) I wanted something else to read. And I got pretty addicted. I know you said you lost interest but you should definitely keep going... because i'm selfish and I have to know what happens! :)

liking...

First off, I'd like to say this is good. It's impressive to me how you've managed to keep it interesting, even with all three characters in steady relationships, although I am curious to see if you ever manage to fit a climax in there. I also think it's great that it's not just like, the story of how they got together, and instead it's the story of how they're /staying/ together. Especially in the case of Max and Kara, it's a nice contrast to the stories that end with the first time they hook up. Obviously, as you've shown here, it's not always flowers and puppies and happy endings just because they've gotten together.

And now for a couple criticisms. Well, a couple grammar nazi criticisms and then one that you might actually care about. :]

1. To and Too. You seem to confuse them. A lot. I know these chapters may not be edited, I understand if they're rough, and I understand that it's an easy typo to make, but you do it /consistently/. If I were editing this - that would be the first thing I went through the whole thing and fixed.

2. Rob always calls Callie "shorty". That in itself isn't bad or anything, but seeing as it's a nickname, I feel like it should be capitalized. Nickname being a substitute for a name and thus being a proper noun and all... It's not a huge thing, it's just something I noticed, you know?

3. Again, this is sort of personal preference and inconsequential, but you could also be somewhat more liberal with your use of commas. Nitpicky, I know, but - again, it's just something I noticed. Plus I like commas.

4. Now, for a real piece of criticism. And I'm not really sure how to say this, because it's kind of hard to explain. But it seems to me like most of the characters, and Callie and Alexandria especially, overreact a LOT. I understand this as a dramatic tool - I mean, to keep it interesting you have to have something happen, and you can only have really major events happen a couple times before it starts to feel contrived, but like...the beginning, with the divorce? I was sixteen last year when my mom started fucking around on my dad. They're divorced now, and my mom's boyfriend is living with her. This might just be me, and I realize that obviously the situation isn't exactly the same, but I speak from personal experience when I say that the reaction to cheating and divorce in your parents' relationship doesn't have to be so...emotional. It just seems like from that arc, and then again from the reaction when Leah's parents were splitting up, that you imagine it to be this massively traumatic experience, while my experience with it has been anything but. This also goes a little bit for the reactions to "I love you", and even sex, to a certain extent, but those might just be personal views.

Also, as a mass generalization here, I think the relationships with parents are somewhat...off. Most prominent observation here is the fact that all of these people regularly have parties, get smashed, and then must get home in the wee hours of the morning quite often smelling of booze and drugs, yet no one's parents ever appear to be bothered. And since it seems like the norm here is the happy caring nuclear family - judging from the reactions of the characters to families that don't fit that bill - it seems odd that no one's parents would throw a fit about it.

I don't know, it just seems like a lot of those family bits are...mediocre. From Max being completely like...scarred because his parents don't talk to him much, to Rob being so desperate for the approval of Callie's parents and then expecting her to more or less blow it off when his parents didn't like her, it seems like something that could be improved upon.

Phew - sorry this is like, super long. Hopefully it's helpful...I wouldn't want to have written it for nothing. ]

lol, this was sweet, so i guess he will call her alexandria, that wolt be nice.

relationships are a pain in the arse.

damn, that really is dramatic, suck to be her, i guess she will become piss ass drunk and seduce the newbie, non?

im really curious, so i will proceed.

lovely! ] u should finish it. ]

GOOD SOON.

i think this is an awesome story, realistic and well put together, you certainly have a talent

i'm sad to hear that you have lost interest in it, cuz i only recently found it and read every chapter within a couple of days, and now i'm hooked

plz update more often, it would be a shame to leave it hanging like this