|Reviews for JAKE WANTS|
| Wesley The Dark Prince chapter 1 . 1/20/2006
First of all, I suggest you only capitalized the letters needed. It's amateurish and cheap to yell everything out, and it's probably one of the reasons why no one reads your stories. Second of all, posting "excellent" in your own review boards (unless specified as a joke) is mind numbingly arrogant and is not helping your reputation in anyway. Being a pretentious twit really doesn't help. Neat huh?
As for the story? It's okay. It doesn't really place anything down in terms of plot, and the dialogue seems quite forced and unnatural. The writing itself is amateurish, with serious repetition of names and basic descriptive words. Try using a thesaurus, or constantly reference your past paragraphs to see what you have and haven't used.
I can't say I'd recomend this story to anyone, although I'm sure with some work it'd be alot better.
| Poor Richard's Son chapter 1 . 9/23/2005