|Reviews for With You
| Black is Beautiful chapter 14 . 10/15/2013
Amazing as are all of your other books are! You should consider getting published more people should know about your writing :)
| bookwurm247 chapter 14 . 8/8/2013
d'aww. a sweet happy ending for both of them! i loved it!
| bookwurm247 chapter 13 . 8/8/2013
I love it! I love it! I love it!
| bookwurm247 chapter 10 . 8/8/2013
Caitlyn, realize it already! Don't make him wait too long!
| bookwurm247 chapter 9 . 8/8/2013
Yay! He realized it! Now, Caitlyn just has to realize it herself!
| bookwurm247 chapter 8 . 8/8/2013
Ooh, what does he want?
| bookwurm247 chapter 6 . 8/8/2013
Awesome I can't wait for that to happen! :)
| bookwurm247 chapter 5 . 8/8/2013
Dude, not the best way before get into the girl's good graces!
| brinalovesyouxx chapter 14 . 12/21/2012
Im not quite sure if i have started reading these stories of the Evencort series... Perfect way to start a series... Looking forward to reading the rest.
Ps. Could you please tell me the order of the stories because even thought you have written which the 2nd & 3rd & 5th stories are, im not quite sure about the rest :D xx
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/20/2012
Hmm, a few points. The premise of the story is really good, but unfortunately, the execution is not great. Firstly, the story is set in the late 1800's, but the writing and dialogue seems more like something out of 2006. The way the characters think, the slang and diction they use ("you don't know squat", "I was pissed", etc) weren't really used in the late 1800's.
Also, your run-ons should really be broken up.
The other two things are more about content than structure. I don't know if Alder's son will be important in the story, but you mention that he became "fast friends" with Caitlyn, but you don't actually show any of it. It really presents a huge gap in the storyline, because you're presenting him as someone who could potentially lure her into a passionate affair as a remedy for her loveless marriage, but you don't show any of his interactions with her. It makes it difficult to believe without seeing their interaction.
Also, the segment about him wanting to have sex with her is badly placed and shoddily executed. For the past few chapters he's shown no interest or sign of sexual urges towards *anyone*. He entered into the marriage claiming there would never be anything between them, and all of a sudden he is horny as hell because of her? It's too illogical. Not to mention that he promised to take care of her to his dying best friend. Despite his rather dour demeanor, I can't see someone attempting sexual assault to someone like that. Additionally, your concept of women being "property" doesn't fit with late 19th century England. Culturally, they had moved past that, and though women's rights weren't exactly what they are today, women were not considered a man's property.
I haven't read the rest of your stories but I hope the other historical fictions have improved on some of these points.
| The Quotidian Life chapter 14 . 10/27/2012
Great story! I love every bit of it.
My only comment would be that you had a few typos but that's nothing. Other than that I loved Luke and Caitlyn's relationship. I live historical fictions.
Yay I'm the 300th reviewer...lol
| The Quotidian Life chapter 13 . 10/27/2012
Aww wow! This story really has moved a log way! From the time when Caitlyn moved in with Luke to now? I'm gonna take a stab and guess that she's pregnant from her nausea. Hopefully I'm right. Anywho, I'll be reading on to find out!
| guest chapter 5 . 10/8/2012
I don't mean to be rude.. but you have run-on sentences. And there can be easy breaks within those sentences to make two or more sentences. Also, the writing style, prose, and vocabulary doesn't seem to be very 1800s. I don't get the sense that the story is in that past. Its a good idea, but I feel like it could be executed better.
| elma chapter 2 . 6/26/2012
interesting! can't wait to see more development :)
| Allimba chapter 14 . 3/12/2012