Reviews for Daisy
gatha chapter 20 . 1/2/2006
Alright, last chapter. Let's do this . This is kinda long. Nuts.

Oliver took that rather well. Was his adoptive mom nervous b/c she was afraid that old witch would hex him? And we haven't heard anything about Oliver or his brother's wizardry lately. Ok, let's be frank, we haven't heard squat about it.

How could Mrs. P have not met Audrey when she and Oliver had been hanging out for months? Does she work alot?

Yellow? Yellow? How does...that's just gross! Yellow?

Why would Audrey and what's-name...tyler get defensive if two friends are hugging? That's downright petty. It's like getting upset b/c two Spanish friends kiss each other on the cheek.

I would have expected them to all be on speaking terms with each other by now. This sounds like a very small , no one's making a fuss over the princess showing up at the dance. And where are Lilli and Adam? And what does Audrey have to worry about from Belle?

You just showed us a new Audrey abruptly and made my opinion of Oliver shaky. Is he shallow, desperate, patient, or something else? I don't know anymore.

Pepperspray? Do-what-I-Want-Policy? The royal family has some serious issues. Unless there's been generations of hippy love and peace, in which case they're probably going overboard.

How can Belle run in a dress and, most likely, heels?

I hate journalists. I hate them alot.

How could a wizard and ex-angel be caught off guard like that? And how could they die? Couldn't Paul use magic and couldn't any of them swim?

Ordinarily people are rushed to the hospital in personal ambulances right away. What's Belle staying for? A princess should have a good deal to do.

It's not much of an ending. Is this part one of a series? There's alot more that could be explored or expanded on here.
gatha chapter 19 . 12/27/2005
This is a very very odd scene to say the least. I really hope there aren't any serious exchanges like this anywhere in the real world. How did Adam hear Tyler from the street? If it really is because he has a big Life would really suck. Or would it? I knew, KNOW, a guy whose whisper was as loud as someone talking normally. You could hear everything he said whether you were listening or not. He got better though, not that it's a disease or anything.

That last part was very nice, especially the last line, though I'm not sure kids in grade 3 are that keen on kissing.

Oh God, here we go. Well, let's see what that * (don't bother trying to figure it it. no common curse fits) is up to now.

Yeah, I still don't get how he got there or how he thought it would help him any. It'd be kind of funny if every time Oliver came by he hit her with a door, or it would if they were an item.

Interesting. At first I expected it to be from Pancho, but now I'm not too sure.

Bah, who'd want to visit that jerk, even if he is dead and better company now. And two small things : If it's late March why is it the 13th? And why is he not buried in his own kingdom?

That's a stupid outlook. Life and death both being unfair. Sounds like someone thinking of suicide without the guts to do it.

You know, this letter really shouldn't exist. It's alright to have bad guys spawned from circumstance, but having them regret actions, apologize from the heart, and recognize their evil ways keeps characters from growing. If everyone is really good deep down then they'll simply respond to every seemingly evil person the same way. It keeps things at a base level and makes the next step very hard to make.
gatha chapter 18 . 12/22/2005
That little bit of forshadowing would be better if you wrote the scenario out like it was actually happening, then she wakes up.

I don't see the neccessity of the date and time, but Daisy was probably asleep a long time.

Is Paul playing by himself? His kids are mean. So are those rich brats. How the hell do they literally get away with murder? Don't their parents think something just might be wrong with them?

How did they get away with it then get taken to court by a foreigner who had nothing to do with it?

Killed by french fry fire? does that happen often? I cook with oil to keep that from happening.

I don't think that heavan changes all that often, or even has days. Regardless, she can keep her husband on a leash shorter than any woman has a right to.

You really should say something when you go into any house. And I've found sneaking into people's houses and laughing at them to be a very bad idea indeed.

Oh that's a nice way to greet your dead sister. And wouldn't she know Fiona's Oli's sister but not know Daisy knew and want to tell her? And why is Daisy unable to count? And wouldn't it be better to surprise their mom rather than distract her from her job for three days?

Way to remind your sister she has-had-no social life. Lilli really isn't a very good sister.

It'd be a nice big surprise if they just called everyone and told them to go to the park.

This whole chapter is filled with awkwardness..."Ah crap!"? That's horrible! "I have a girlfriend now"? "My girls"? Who does Oliver think he is? Big Pimpin O Dog?

Except for the order, the conversation is somewhat similar to the conversations I have with my friends. Only we're joking all the way through. I hope.

What's Delia doing? And why are they on good terms? And what about slapping the princess? It feels more like a year or so than a month.

Belle likes reality tv? And an even worse one than what they have now? I looaatthhee her. What kind of castle has a doorbell?

You know, I think Pieere and Tetral are kind of alike in some ways.

When do women NOT have problems? Selfish bitch. Selfish BITCH! What the hell is it with the tabloids! Daisy comes back and...ARG! I want to punch her! yoga breathing dave, yoga breathing. Ok, I'm good...maybe I should have saved the calming down for later because Belle's A BITCH THAT SHOULD BE DRAGGED INTO AN ALLY AND SHOT! THRICE!

Milkman? He got a job as a milkman? Lives a little far away for that. "Well, she was beautiful. But she was thirteen years old. We got along great" isn't a very well constructed sentance either.

He propossed at 15 to a girl that would live for only one day? 's 18? That's...odd. And why was she working at an orphanage if she was Paul's guardian angel.

He puts it behind him and to prove it he brings it back up? Sure you did Pauly.

That was one long chapter. Two more to go! WE!
gatha chapter 17 . 12/2/2005
People seem to get along unbelievably well. They must live in closely knit communities. The whole conversation is awkward too, more like a recap than an actual conversation. It's kinda obvious that Maye didn't find Paul.

"your speciman" is a little bit harsh. To save Paul the emotional rollar-coaster Daisy should have told him everything was fine from the beginning.

I thought Daisy was a gaurdian angel? And if she is, she would know he's been cleared. Wait, so she didn't arrange the "coincidences" that led to his release? That makes it even more...unbelievable.

Annie really shouldn't have to explain what March is. I hope they aren't this trusting with everyone that comes to their door. And how is it they can leave their lives and country at a moment's notice? Annie shouldn't be so accepting either, seeing as it is rather sudden.

First time you mentioned the tutoring since ch1. That's a subtle way of saying he's a wizard. Does Daisy know about the wand? Whose perspective is this? So what, is he learning magic from Audrey?
gatha chapter 16 . 12/2/2005
I think you got a squirrel's thoughts down to a T. God can't do two things at once? How oddly mortal...ah well. We are made in His likeness.

What's so odd about the client's mother judging Daisy? Seems ok to me. And do you get your emotions back in heavan?

Daisy doesn't have a wide range of things she'd like to do. First thing I'd do is look for legends and myths like Robin Hood and Hercules. I'd also see if there were any tournaments I could enter.

The prayer thing is really neat, but it doesn't explain Daisy and Maye's relationship. Hey, how is Daisy supposed to be avenged again?

"and panchos over their dresses" that could be a very nice pun. I really don't like those two...

No, you're not shallow at all, . Yeah, nic pick up line Belle. That's how you get a guy to eat out of the palm of your hand. Pity-whore. I just hope she doesn't try to convert Pierre.

I can't decide who I like more: Adam or Pierre.
gatha chapter 15 . 12/1/2005
I think you still get in trouble for turning yourself in when you did nothing. Like you're protecting the murderer and that's not a good thing.

Audrey's pretty annoying. I wonder why Oliver decided to change his plans for the day just b/c some hyper chick came along. I think the rebels wouldn't really hang out by the castle. Makes it harder to be inconspicuous.

He can't tell her who killed Pancho, but he can tell her he knows the murderer? Not smart Oli old boy.

Who carries crushes for seven plus years? I'd run away personally, unless I was actually on speaking terms with her. She and Oliver get along well, their both easy.

Huh. Saw the relation, but not the lawyer. If she felt bad about it why didn't she remove the curse? Damn but these people hate to act.

"...she wasn’t my mom. . . .”You're a bright one Oli.

Doesn't anyone else notice the magic? The test is pretty easy too. This happened a little too fast. You should really forshadow his powers.
gatha chapter 14 . 11/30/2005
Did you even mention Lilli's mom before this point? You should also stick with one name for Oliver's sis, or at least call her Maye whenever the story's told from Oliver's perspective.

Geez, now Lilli's having a pity party. Can't blame Oliver for yelling though, seeing as they had apparently talked about llamas.

Ok, that is wayy to damn conveniant. And murder is murder, and WHY hasn't Pancho's family made an appearence or SOMETHING! And Oliver wasn't charged for killing Daisy!

That whole section is so...aghh! This is should really work on this part.
gatha chapter 13 . 11/29/2005
Daisy's talking made things complicated. Is she actually mad or ok with Tyler being with Fiona since she's dead? If God took away her feelings she should be fine with this, and since she is dead she shouldn't be jealous of someone who's alive. Saying that Tyler didn't love her b/c he was with Fiona was pretty low to. If I had a spouse that said that to me when I died, I'd probably ditch her and hang out with my new wife and (ie) Shinsen Gumi for the rest of eternity.

Does Daisy even know what she wants anymore?

WHY ISN'T HE IN JAIL! AGH!Heh, "I thought you'd died"

Daisy is really getting on my nerves. First she says she didn't want him thinking he's a player, then she kisses him. Thank God I don't know people like that.

I really don't think Daisy completed her mission. She botched it if anything.

Oliver's not shallow, he's like Archie or Ranma, too many girl's like him and he can't make a choice. Belle, on the other hand is. Who wants to spend Valentine's Day with a power hungery jerk so they don't have to be alone? DEFINATELY not someone shallow ;)

How's Oliver evil? I congragulate him on dumping the "pop stars" and kicking their high chairs out from their feet. And didn't Belle have that dream about being normal way back when?

While I wholeheartedly agree with Oli, I think that being tranquillized is the least of his problems. Hell, they'd tranquillize him with fists sooner than actual tranquillizer!...And he does it anyway. I get the distinct feeling he waited a few seconds before doing it to, which makes it pretty funny.

Yeah, shouldn't the football players be beating up Oliver now? And why is EVERYONE coming to the park so early?

Did everyone leave? Without a word? Odd...She changed that much in 3 months?

She belittles Tyler for two-timing love and then goes and does that with Oliver? Women! Though Girls! would probably be more accurate.
gatha chapter 12 . 11/28/2005
Oliver didn't screw up her life, you'd be stupid to claim you killed someone for the fame, and why did he have to take a bus to use a payphone? The lawyer sure let him off easily, and why is he worried about school? He's going to jail at the best!

AH! Daisy didn't see this and she knows everything! hmph, I guess turning yourself in for a crime you didn't commit would give you more reason to pity yourself. Though I'd think it would have to do mostly with how stupid you are.

Oh no, poor Belle and Delia. No boyfriends. The horror.

Lilli's kinda thick there, and doesn't the fact that he'll be in jail for a few years play any part in this? Whoa, when did Oli first have Belle's trust? Speaking of Belle, how come her little fantasy in ch1 never reappeared?

Geez, some guardian angel. If anyone is selfish it's her. And she just came out to tell Oli her sister is fickle. Hm, Daisy isn't really a devil is she?

I don't think a judge would say slammer. I'm also pretty sure he'd be handed over to Pancho's kingdom for the sentence.

Oliver should run away and stumble on his brother, then return in ten or so years, beat that witch that killed his family, then reject Lilli and ride off into the sunset in a harley. What goes around, comes around, eh?
gatha chapter 11 . 11/27/2005
Alright, here we go. It's been awhile so bare with me.

Why wouldn't his sister change her name? C'mon she's distancing herself from her family!

Oli doesn't critize Lilli, though he sure doesn't try to make her get the feeling he likes her. Speaking of him, aren't they worried about the whole "I'm going to turn myself in" thing? I'll never get over the leiniency of the justice system...

How is an orphan supposed to pay to get into an orphanage? And why would you get money for brining the kid back? What made her get kicked out of so many families?

Daisy's foresight is like superman's strength: inconsistent. OH, is the teacher the witch that got Meg? That would be interesting school drama for Oli.

Adam's the coolest character in the story. There isn't much of a conversation going on considering Lilli's supposed to be with her friends.
Gatha chapter 10 . 11/17/2005
That's stupid. Why should Adam have to pay for saving Belle, her parents, and probably the nation? That seems like something opposite of avenging.

Lilli should know better than to argue with a psychic. And she should be happy Adam got Pancho back for killing her sister.

Damn but Oliver is selfish. Someone should smack him for being conceited.

Turn yourself in for a murder you didn't commit, which doesn't actually avenge the murderer who murdered the one needing avenging so that she can live for ONE day to say 'I love you' to someone? Oliver's whacked
Gatha chapter 9 . 11/13/2005
How old was pan at this point? He seems pretty immature.

Geez, way to freak out a potential girlfriend. She'll think he's a stalker or something, especially with a lame excuse like 'I saw you in a dream'. Needless to say, she'd think herself better off not knowing the details of the dream.

How is Delia 'technically' royalty? She's not. She's a noblewoman. technically. And I'd cut out that last part about Opal being dee's dad because she's 23. It's a very odd sentance.

Sheesh, and to think people like that had no clue where communism was coming from. And dee seems nicer than I thought she was.

...Nevermind...wait, it's a crazy german. Talk about your freedom of the press, the royals have absolutely NO power over it.

Y'know, Oliver would sound pretty damn conceited if he weren't right. Lilli seems to have an inferiority complex too. Those two are unbelievably clueless too, seeing and hearing things that are rather obvious about their feelings for one another.

DAMN he must like her! He wishes he could go shopping with her! That's a death trap and a half even if you AREN'T dating.
Gatha chapter 8 . 11/12/2005
Why didn't Meghan curse May back? Doesn't make much sense if you hate the other person that just damned you. And what Oliver says when he sees his grandmother dead, just a little bit...odd.

Getting a princess mad. Not smart at all.
Gatha chapter 7 . 11/11/2005
Man, rejected by an angel. Nothing says worthless as much as that. People "We love you, God!" God "Hm...well, you see...I really think 'love' is to strong a word. Maybe we should just be friends. Uh, I hear Lucifer throws some wicked parties."

Wait...does this make Tyler a necrophiliac? And why didn't Daisy see this coming? And is Adam going to marry Belle if Lilli's ment for Oliver?

I'm praying that Luke is practising. And if he isn't, it better not be a coniferous tree.

Why wouldn't Lilli live with her sister? Was there some pre-death problem between them, or is Adam trying to sound casual, like this was a bonus. Why is Daisy going to be unhappy? Just think of all the hot dead guys in heavan. It's the place people go when they can't get a date on earth. I wonder if Joan of Arc is availabe?

Fiona has four-wheel drive? Daisy doesn't stand a chance! How the school worked? Oh! Is it a clockwork school? That would be so awesome unless you got caught in a gear or cog. A bookstore too? This school has everything but a kereokeeing gorilla.

Heeyy, Oliver can be the key that opens her heart, then she can marry God. I'd go further, but that'd be weird if Jesus was her son or something.
Gatha chapter 6 . 11/10/2005
Quoi? les boots dans la maison? je...remember..."grosse" Francais dans je...thought? Quel que chois!

What's with all the surfers in this story? Honestly, don't these people know bleaching causes baldness? Then again, being bald is rather sexy, especially if you like eggs in the morning (trust me, it makes sense).

So do sisters really talk like this? I mean without the supernatural element. Unless there's some femme-secret here like Stone Masonry symblism in the Magic Flute. Are the sisters of the world going to cause a war? Should I get the surgery done? I'm so afraid...well, mostly of how far I take these things. I'm sure you can relate.

Um, I can't remember the last time a royal biked somewhere that wasn't point A to point A, but hey, royalty's weird, specially the when riding scooters to make them popular. Fie on the scooter companies! Fie I say!

Heh, royal driveway. I can imagine how much cooler their lawn flamingos are compared to everyone elses. "It was beautiful and filled with dying pear trees"? WT*prefered profanity*? How is that beautiful?

...I said it once, and I'll say it again. Women
32 | Page 1 .. Last Next »