|Reviews for Blood Letting|
| Typewriter King chapter 1 . 2/8/2005
I listed this as a parody without saying what it was a parody of- a mistake. Well, it is a parody of... Marvel Comic's “Blade” and every incarnation Johnny Quest, and I throw in nods at other popular vampire works of entertainment. Bram Stocker's Dracula,of course, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, and a little bit of Buffy/Angel. Lastly, I use a lot of clichéd elements from bad conspiracy theories and geopolitical hack writing. If you think this is original, you've been spared from the worse popular culture has to offer. I envy you!Part of the problem is that I didn't spend a lot of time using the Fictionpress editor, nor did I add some of the cooler features I used on the fanfiction conversion of this. Here's the one review I got from that:“Dear Typewriter King;
This is hilarious. You are far, far too literate to be here. The simple fact that you know the basic rules of grammar sets you apart. A person who not only has writing skills above those of the average six-year-old, but is referring to old British political parties . . . nobody is going to read your stuff. It's not because it's bad. It's because it's good. People don't come to to read brilliant satirical political commentaries. They come to read about pretty boys making out, getting pregnant (no, I don't get it either), or getting turned into women, or all of the above.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you'll get hundreds more reviews and I'll look really dumb. But it's just a warning. You are too intelligent to be here. Go somewhere where you'll be appreciated.”I did polish that one considerably more, and that may have made the difference, but I wanted to post it in it's “wild” form somewhere, with all the original “wild” ideas. I wrote this after seeing the anime series “Tenchi Muyo” for the first time, wanting to mimic the format and flow of that program. Sorry I tricked you into reading junk.
| Benjamin Cheah chapter 1 . 2/4/2005
There is good news, and there is bad news.
The good news is that this story is somewhat original, although the vampire theme isn't exactly inspired. I'm not blaming you; you're actually being more creative than most when it comes to this...
The bad news is...well, it's very...confusing. On first glance, there seems to be no real structure. This is not alleviated by the switching of perspectives from third person to first and vice versa - it's pretty difficult to read the words stating the change. Plus, you keep inserting words into brackets in a couple of action scenes. I think that's because you want to produce grammatically correct sentences. Well, you don't have to.
Also, there seems to be a lack of real urgency during the critical moments: discovery of the transmitter, the dogfight, etc.
While this story has potential, it needs a considerable amount of polish. Hope this helps...