|Reviews for In Left Field|
| Mockingbyrd's Tune chapter 1 . 4/17/2011
Ah! Hate when that happens.
"The humidity wrapped around him like a blanket." Like this line. I wouldn't say it's original, but the imagery worked to bring me into Derrick's environment.
Running to a clearing near the field to deal made him relatable. I found myself commiserating with him. I should've known right then he was destined to die. :/
"He tripped on...on...on what? A sprinkler?" No. It was a time capsule from the Paleolithic era which Derrick unknowingly knocked, creating a hairline crack to allow the escape of some primordial entity... that wasn't very agreeable back in its time, either.
"If this was true, the impact of his shoe to the gopher's head probably killed it." lol
The whole description of discovering the abyss in the ground was great! When a normal, everyday event meets the surreal - why is that so entertaining? Correction: it's entertaining only when reading fiction. Being in a car wreck is surreal, but not entertaining.
Reading the last paragraph, I was reminded of the summary. This is so similar to one of my dad's bedtime stories. In fact, I think it has inspired me. Keep writing. - M.T.
| Auntie1992 chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
WHOA! Talk about a SWING of emotions! The beginning made me so comforted, thinking of a sweet summer day watching a little league game, then so sad for Derrick, understanding his pain. My heart swelled when he was concerned that he may have hurt the gopher...then BAM...horrific & strange feelings surrounded me as the story progressed! The powerful last line that closed the story was AMAZING! Great job!
| Ryla Dante chapter 1 . 2/28/2005
Now that is what I call wicked. Sounds like something Bruce Coville would write. Splendid!
| Crazy Biene chapter 1 . 2/13/2005
very well written. Well worded, and creates a nice atmosphere. I have a suggestion though, it would be even more better if it was more fomatted. U know what I mean? Like more space, and maybe a bit more dialogue. Maybe u did it on purpose, but I was just suggesting. well done, though
| Stories-have-souls chapter 1 . 2/6/2005
So freaky...but suspenseful, atmospheric, well written, eye-widening...all in all, terrific writing!