Reviews for Shadow of Flames
GMatthe418 chapter 5 . 1/17/2006
I think you rushed the fathers death a little bit. This story is hard to follow and confusing at times, but eh good job! *wiating for next chapter*
Xothoss chapter 9 . 11/28/2005
Windgirl chapter 8 . 11/25/2005
Wow, that was great, suspenful and at some points it was kind of funny though still pretty sad when the dad died T.T I really hope you could update this soon because I want to know what happens next. I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors really so it alright.
Xothoss chapter 8 . 10/4/2005
Wow, this is good. The changed works perfectly for your style of work. can't wait till the next one!
Phoenix of the Sea chapter 8 . 7/17/2005
Confusing, so I'd give it an 'alright'.
Flamevixen chapter 8 . 7/17/2005
Hi GotinksX. The narrator at the beginning seems to have been cut off. I think you could've combined the sentences about the wind and how it affected Ray, Carl, & James' clothing. Dividing it off into two sentences is pretty useless. WHAT FRICKIN' TREATMENT! Okay, thank you for supplying the answer Ray, otherwise I would've been left in the dark. Well Hector, who else would it be? Santa Claus? And in the sentence "If it Isn't Ray" the r in Ray isn't capitalized. This fight really getting annoying. GET ON WITH SMASHING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS IN! It's more of a catfight than a real fight. HERE WE GO, FINALLY! Is Cheddar the hobo going to kill EVERYBODY in this story? I guess not, unless he's going to be a zombie. I hope your future chapters stay as good as this and your revious 7 chapters have been, cause some stories get terrible after a certain # of chapters. And don't be so cranky about what people write in their reviews. FREE SPEECH! THEY CAN REVIEW HOW THEY WANT!
Xothoss chapter 7 . 7/5/2005
This is cool, can't wait till the next one!
Flamevixen chapter 7 . 7/5/2005
How do you fall asleep standin against a tree? I thought you had to get in a comfy position first. Whatever, I'm just being annoying aren't I? When you wrote "he started to walk in ray's direction", you didn't capitalize the R in Ray. Why does James start talking like a rapper? Why did these guys decide to pick a fight with a guy who has flames coming out of his body? I'm guessing 'cause they're REALLY stupid. Good chapter! Keep up the good work!
Anonymous B chapter 7 . 6/29/2005
there is no description of background or place or people or explaination of anything. simply put it, i dont like it. you should read some fantasy or sci-fi novel, the one in bookstore mind. And it remind me of the anime static shock a lot.
wade chapter 7 . 6/28/2005
lol cheeddar bob is back!
Phoenix of the Sea chapter 7 . 6/27/2005
Shintoshi chapter 4 . 5/25/2005
Hey, I finally started reading your stories (I have time now!). It's an interesting story, but I have to agree with Gaki Toki, you're going through things way too fast. Also, I noticed a bit of a mistake - Ray's father was shot in the head, right? Well, then it wouldn't be possible for the shot to be both fatal and allow him to say his final words.
Venusvadore chapter 6 . 4/23/2005
This isn't your best, it seems like it was done very quickly. Don't take this to offense, though. What's with the formatting? Ah, well...C'ya next chapter I guess.
Phoenix of the Sea chapter 6 . 4/22/2005
Flamevixen chapter 6 . 4/16/2005
That bit at the beginning between Ray & his mom was a bit dull, it coud use some work. Sounds like Ray going "Kill Bill" all of a sudden. Good chapter, kep up the good work!
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