Reviews for The Broken Road
Chelsea chapter 11 . 9/27/2012
I haven't read any of your other stories, although from your author's notes, I see you usually write YA fiction. I understand this is definitely meant to be a more adult work, but I still think it reads more like a YA novel. I appreciate Lillian's character, that she is moral, determined, and hard working, despite becoming blind and losing her family. You've described her blindness in a thorough and meaningful way.

However, I think you lost me in this chapter. I feel everything you built Lillian up to be was a hoax. She confronted the other servants over gossiping about her relationship with Logan, yet she went and did the exact thing she was so offended about. She wanted to save her virginity in the hope of marriage, yet here she throws it away without a second thought. It makes no sense, particularly because she had weeks in between interactions with him.

I also don't understand what makes Logan so desirable to her, other than saving her from Brant and paying her some attention from time to time, usually in the vein of "Make this bet, and if I win, I get a kiss." He simply doesn't seem like a very good person, keeping several mistresses and discussing sleeping with his servants with his friends. I can't figure out why Lillian is so attracted to him. Based on being sexually assaulted twice in the past and holding onto the hope of someday marrying, I feel like such casual actions would be repugnant to Lillian rather than welcome.

Other than that, I think your writing and tone are fine. Your descriptions are good but could be fleshed out more. I laughed once at your mention of allergies; the scientific concept seemed a little out of place with talk of earls and barons. I guess my main criticism is that this "adult" work just feels like a YA bodice ripper. There is little plot and character development other than sex. I hope you don't find what I've said to be offensive. I'll try a few more chapters to see if there is more to Lillian and Logan than meets the eye, but this plot and these characters just seem too cliche to continue reading if there's no more complexity to your story.
OPatron chapter 23 . 8/30/2012
This was spectacular! Really really loved it!
AnonymousReads chapter 24 . 8/16/2012
I liked your kind of confusing book and i have bought prada and predjudice and loved it even more. For this story you put in the 1800s was a a little off since their were not really hotels and the wording was sometimes more modern. Lilly was a bit naive and if logan was so in love with rebbecca why was he seeing so many orher girl? Good story. :)
tiltedHead chapter 2 . 6/30/2012
OOoo, really interesting.
Lenah. C chapter 23 . 6/27/2012
Wow. I'm afraid I have quite a lot to say about this beautiful story. Here's the chronology of my thoughts as I read through The Broken Road. Maybe it could be counted as a consolidated review (teehee)?

"I love historical romances. I hope (crossing my fingers) it would be a good read because god knows I'm desperate for a good story."

"Interesting! Lilly is blind. It makes the story so much more original."

"The writing is nearly flawless, and I really love how you capture Lilly's-er-condition (i don't want to say disability) so well. It gave me a lot of insights to the life of a blind person"

"I love how Logan's character is developing. As well as Lilly's. As the chapters progress, I feel like I'm getting to know them more and more as if they were real persons."

"Logan is so mean :( he broke my heart too just as he did Lilly's."

"So much drama-I love it! I'm itching not to scroll to the ending to see how the chapter will end."

"When will these cross-purposes end? Ack. So excited. I know I have school work to do, but another chapter wouldn't hurt . . ."

"I LOVE THIS STORY! Ended just right. Gave that wonderful, warm reading afterglow."

Thank you for posting such a beautiful story on FP. Not only is the plot nice, but your writing executed it perfectly. I'm so happy to have read this. I'm not surprised that you are now a published author. Congratulations and good luck to your future endeavors :)

Love, love, love,
L.C.
DreamsOnlyLastForTheNight chapter 26 . 6/16/2012
I read this entire story in one night. And I loved how strong Lilly was through everything and how she refused to take all the crap that was thrown at her.

Anyway, that's not the real reason I wanted to write a review. A couple of days ago I went to the library and checked out your book Ripple. I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet, but it's crazy to think that someone who started out on FictionPress actually has books out on shelves! It made me proud, and it gave me hope that maybe I will have books sitting on bookshelves someday too! :)
carleyshake chapter 1 . 6/5/2012
One of the best stories! ;_;
The Quotidian Life chapter 26 . 5/26/2012
You've crafted this story terrifically! I love how everything ended up and your writing style, however you may want to research the context a bit more, especially the language they spoke. It was more complex without as much jargon then than now.

Cheers
visaga chapter 26 . 4/12/2012
Awwww the story's done already! I gotta admit that I'm not even a teen yet so I was kinda surprised when I realized this was mature... but by then I was just too hooked! I skipped the yucky parts, sorry! Too bad Lillian didn't get her vision back, but if she did that would be too unrealistic and offensive to blind ppl? maybe? anyhow I really REALLY 3 it! Thanks for the great read!
KarmaHope chapter 21 . 3/22/2012
I must admit that I am addicted to this story, however it is now midnight and I must stop for the time being. :'(

Until tomorrow!
Angelbaby1991 chapter 23 . 3/11/2012
Great Story.
abski chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
i always find myself returning to this story again and again. it think it's a testament of how beautiful the story is. i love it!
AbigailDarcy88 chapter 1 . 2/29/2012
I just finished reading this story and I must say I really liked the plot and the romance. I have to say your story partly reminds me of one particular romance author whom I highly regard; to which makes me really like reading this story because I am such a picky reader when it comes to Romance stories, they have to have a plot to them, not just all sex. So, when I finished reading your story, I had to write a little note saying thank you for writing this story, please keep writing, never stop.

A New Fan,

Abigail Darcy
nevermore1330 chapter 26 . 2/26/2012
I love this story iv red it a lot. Please don't ever take it down
nevermore1330 chapter 26 . 2/26/2012
I love this story iv red it a lot. Please don't ever take it down
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