Reviews for Vanity
One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
I think changing the pronouns in this poem would do it a world of good. Sometimes, like in this poem, it irks me when the poet says 'you' instead of 'him'/'her', because I like to know the sex of the person they're talking about (and also! it sometimes makes me feel as if they're talking specifically to me - paranoid, I know!). However, the message in this poem was definitely poignant. 'You're too vain for anything but suicide'! It's interesting to think people would kill themselves out of vanity, but I'm sure it happens... Also, I think instead of:

'The ceremony

Is not ending

Anytime soon'

It may read better as:

'The ceremony

Is never-ending'

Just my intrusive little opinion!

- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in profile]
Sekhmet Johnson chapter 1 . 2/24/2005
The first bit.'The ceremonyIs not endingAnytime soonIt goes onAnd on' And the second'And you cannot help yourselfYou’re too vainFor anythingBut suicide'Don't really seem to match, but I like the last three lines the best, as always. You goin' on my favourite authors list.