wow. That was really well-written, a story poem. I very much enjoyed that.

This is very nice. It doesn't seem forced and flows well idea-wise. Love the line "I might be discovered, or die in the dim light." Keep updating!

Well, your rhythm isn't too bad. It is off, but that is alright. Tis not glaring, in-your-face. Just a few words here and there erased will make amends. But nice thus far.

Beautiful and seems like a song almost. I love her name, it has a ring to it. One thing - "But the light chases me as you would chase a bug" the entire line is good except for bug, tis awkward and just sounds like you want to rhyme for the sake of rhyming. Besides that, very nice!

I'm pretty sure that you don't mean this to have perfect meter, but I think it would flow better if all of the lines had exactly the same number of syllables.