Beautiful. And if you're looking for a prologue, I think this is good: We are the brush of wind on cool fall nights, unseen, so that few know its pure splendor. We are fire, consumed in raging passion, yet tender as the grass that peeks through melting snow. We are water, rushing to each other, bonded as one.

Just a suggestion. Great work!

What pretty words! I loved the metaphorical references. But I think the mystical mood of the story is what attracted me most - instead of hot-blooded passion, you've inserted a lot of abstract thought that very much poeticized (if that's even a word, lol!) this love-making. Wonderful.

"We are fire, consumed in raging passion, yet tender as the grass that peeks through melting snow. We are water, rushing to each other, bonded as one."

This, without a doubt, has to be my favorite line. It is THE line that describes the two souls. You've captured their passion here perfectly, using references - albeit commonly used references - with which many people can relate or have seen before: fire, grass peeking out from under snow, water (though the water one was unique).

All in all, nice vignette. Just watch out for bits of grammar. On one occasion, you've used an adjective to describe a verb, not an adverb.

"the pieces sparkle more brilliant"

It should be "brilliantly." And watch for the occasional moments of awkward wording.

They are little, microscopic errors, but fixing those are what truly make stories professional.

- (Star-Gazer) Kay

Great imagery, and well written too :)

Hello Lord Pink A Lot's masters friend... I've read this before and I still like it. I like the dances with demons. Yeah, you should have called it that. Ehh... Meany.