Reviews for Drink Up
SocratesAngel chapter 2 . 6/19/2006
definitely like the original better.
braindead1345 chapter 2 . 3/22/2006
i like the second verson better.
Chemically Induced chapter 2 . 3/21/2006
i don't know if this poem is supposed to be so funny, but some lines are hilarious. taht goddamn over priced wine and...ok it was only that line. sry :p i really like the second to last stanza. a very stylish paradox. talent, you have it. seriosuly.

love, .
run rabbit run chapter 2 . 3/18/2006
i love both of them. they both have their crytstaline qualities... and uh, really thanks for reading my stuff. cheers-rabbit
Pillowcase Angel chapter 2 . 2/24/2006
Hmm, I think I definitely prefer the second draft, the revised one. I think it just generally scans better. The punctuation works well, I think it makes it seem like a vaguely angry, vaguely drunken, vaguely loving evening: which is the tone I got from the piece overall.
amethystdawn chapter 2 . 2/11/2006
This more organized, but I sort of liked the first one better. I have no idea why. O.o Maybe it's cause it flows better in the first one? Or maybe 'cause to me, it's one huge poetic rambling of a person which shouldn't be divided?

I'm not sure But either way, the content is still rather fab.

amethystdawn chapter 1 . 2/11/2006
I love the dark humor!

"...would you keepsipping thatGod damnover-pricedwineorwould youstop to think, and say..."

lol quite a fab poem. this is going to my fave list. :D

You have a very unique writing style. Keep writing!


ps: thanks for the lovely review!
La Bonne Mascarade chapter 1 . 1/10/2006
hey i just reread the first copy, the original, sorry, i changed my mind, the original is better i think.-lina
La Bonne Mascarade chapter 2 . 1/10/2006
Hey, i really liked the poem, and then i found the revised version. They're both good, but somehow, the first part of the revised poem, until the line "and put an end to this" is better then that part in the original. And everything after that like "to all of this" is better in the original than in the revised, so perhaps you could try to use both together? I dunno, just a suggestion. Good job. -Lina
the shadow in the mirror chapter 2 . 11/29/2005
the formating seems to change the peom, a lot - although I know the meaning is the same. I think I prefer the second one, But I like it a lot less.
Irked Materia chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
this was quite good. disjointed and left open for interpretation, i think. good job!
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 10/18/2005
and if I were to say tonight that's

not need, its want that keeps me's

i like both chapters.. the story is great and beautiful.. I don't know which i like better.. I think i liek the short lines of the first one best, but the commas, dashes, etc. in the second one
Gilee7 chapter 2 . 10/9/2005
I read the original draft and I really liked it, but the layout bugged me. Then, I realized that you had a revised version, so I read this one. And now I only enjoy it so much more. This revision really helps it. I found this poem quite humourous. Great ending.
this is murder chapter 2 . 10/8/2005
the punctuation definently makes it better...i don't know why. it's better revised, i love it, as always, my favorite poem by you.
hey maria chapter 2 . 10/8/2005
I liked the revised one, but I think the old lines 'you're going to want/more than a sip/later/tonight" are much better than "'re going to want more of that wine/later on tonight."
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