Reviews for Swim To Somewhere
One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
The minimalism in this poem was, again, good. But I did have several little nigglings:

I am swimming further

Further out to sea

Where I can drown

Because

I cannot swim.

First off, I know this is just my pedantic, unrealistic little tic acting up, but I think Because would look better 'decapitalized' (that's not a word, but you get what I mean, right?) so it reads 'because'. Also, you mention the word 'swim' twice in this poem which - again! - for some reason annoys me. Could you say something instead, maybe 'I am stroking further' or 'I am going further', 'I am travelling further', etc?

I know it's probably just me being annoying. Sorry!

- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon (link in the profile)
this is britt chapter 1 . 2/26/2005
Meaningful in its despair and contradiction.