Reviews for The Home I Never Had,The Family I Never Knew
shadowphoenix3000 chapter 8 . 6/15/2005
Your poetry is very beautiful.

I have a friend who was also like that, so I can relate. But she doesn't really wonder about them much because she was found abandoned.

And yet sometimes your thoughts get scrambled. It sounds like you're struggling to find something to rhyme with previous lines. But your poems are overall good.

shadowphoenix30
Akhenaten chapter 1 . 4/14/2005
wow. very sad, emotional, intense.
PoliticsMan101 chapter 1 . 3/20/2005
this was all very touching. It makes me think how wonderful it is to have parents. Someone to love you, support you, and be there for you. I feel sorry for you. If you ever want to talk or anything, I'll be here for you. My email addy and sn is on my page. Feel free to anytime.
ShadowPharoh chapter 8 . 3/20/2005
touching. i like how this seemed to be a conversation. hello, Chibi-Baka-Neko, are you okay?

luvved it!

SP
UnseenPhoenix chapter 6 . 3/11/2005
Okay, hate me if you want, but sometimes real familys are not that great. My dad has ruined my life. I was applying to a prep school, and it was really important to me. My dad did something dumb, and they practically told me that I wasn't going to get in because of him. I told him not to do it, but he didn't listen to me. Be grateful you have someone that doesn't hate you, being truly related to them doesn't matter.
Lauderdale chapter 7 . 3/3/2005
All right. I've just finished reading this series, and I want to let you know first off that I think it's great that you decided to share these with us, you have really opened up and layed these out as honestly as if we were your friends. But now, as with all my reviews, I have to give out some constructive criticism along with my praise.

"Dad" - A poem that drew me in because of its subject matter, but I think it could have been carried out in a better style. This reads like a letter. Something you scribbled down and hoped to mail to your father one day, but couldn't because you don't know where he is. There is nothing wrong with letters, but I expected to read a poem. Remember that line breaks and words that sound meaningful do not necessarily equal poetry.

"Mommy" - Basically the same advice as I had for "Daddy" with a few changes. In this one, I don't know if you realize it, but you sound like a six-year-old. I'm not sure if you meant to do that, but it was kind of disturbing reading the words "sissy" and "mommy" in a poem that also covers "getting high" and having children without marrying. Then in this line: "Not the recked one I was born in" you spelled "wrecked" wrong.

"Sissy" - Less emotional impact than the first two. The first half was kind of like a review of your history, not really about your sister.

"Lovely" - I didn't gain anything from this poem, I feel like it was just there to fill up space. And in this line: "Lets settle this now" you left out an apostrophe for "Let's". I know, picky, aren't I?

"The Little Part of My Mind" - Very touching; now this is sounding more poetic.

"Hate" - Uh-oh. Going back to rants with line breaks. Anyway, you raise an interesting topic here. There are many times when people might unconsciously say things that piss others off. I hope you realize that they don't mean to be rude or ungrateful; they just don't understand what it's like in any other person's shoes. Oh, and in this line: "They hate their familys" you spelled "families" wrong. This also happened a few other times.

"Dreams" - Well, I have to admit, you really stepped up to the plate in this one. Of course I think that it's your best out of this collection. I loved the imagery, the references to the family that you've introduced to us, and how you put them all together in this poem as part of your dreams, the good, the bad, and always unknown. Excellent job. One small little thing wrong; in this line: "Are thing I never want to seel or feel" I think you meant to say "Are things I never want to see or feel"

Keep writing, and best wishes with your family.
ShadowPharoh chapter 7 . 3/3/2005
omg! sorry to be biased, but THIS WAS THE BEST POEM YET! the flow was perfect, right on the dot! and the rhyme was systamatic and it was just great! AWESEOM JOB! thanks to you, i actually feel like i have a friend. u rock! _

SP
ShadowPharoh chapter 6 . 2/27/2005
wow. that had alot of malice behind it. i admit to being one of those people that hate thier moms. but, i do appreciate her. i hope that you can appreciate what your foster (is that the word?) family did for you. they took you out of a bad situation and gave you all thier love, even though you are a stranger (?) to them. i enjoy this series, you let alot of emtion flow out inot these poems, and i can tell. great job. feel free to update whenever you feel like it, i'm looking foreward to your next update!

SP
ShadowPharoh chapter 5 . 2/27/2005
never let go of that "little part of your mind" but don't drown in it either. great poem. _ sometimes i imagine my family all together again. kind of like the "Garden" poem in "Dear Daddy." anyway, i liked this one alot. keep up the great work.

SP
ShadowPharoh chapter 4 . 2/27/2005
that had good rythmn and flowed very nicely. short, but said alot. great job. i'm beggining to really look foreward to your updates. you're very talented.

SP
ShadowPharoh chapter 3 . 2/27/2005
it must be really tough to never know what your real flesh and blood looks like, talks like, acts like. i'm glad in a sense that you're out of that bad situation, but this one isn't so much better. _ keep smiling, and great work.

A/N: you're welcome!

SP
ShadowPharoh chapter 2 . 2/27/2005
that was VERY emotion-filled. great job.

SP
ShadowPharoh chapter 1 . 2/26/2005
that was very heartfelt. now i feel lucky to have even met my dad. you see, he died when i was in fourth grade. maybe you'd like my "dear daddy" series, at least certain poems. _ very nice poem. is this a series? if so, update whenever you want, i know how sad it is when people tell you to hurry up with the poetry. _ very nice poem. i'm sorry. _

SP