I really like this one, it's pure and raw. It's like you didn't even think you just let the words soak the done

I didn't like this poem, I thought it was too general. Perhaps you should elaborate on it, make it more personal/individual?

you have an idea here, it just seems that the words haven't quite caught up with it. i would say - expand the concept and make it more complex than the sparseness of your words is allowing it to be. if you want to write about suicide and death it would make it much more potent to make it individual.

This is a good poem it isnt crap. You are a good writer you should continue ti write you are a talented person. Read abd Review mine I am greenelephant on fictionpress