I have just read two chapters and came to know that your story is a humorous take on Scribe Mozell's "Sabine Woman". The things which seemed realistic there are not so much here. A man would not come to a party in search of a woman who doesn't apply makeup, and of course the heroine does not. In the original story it was a bank robbery and the emotions were real and accurate. But still, you write really well. I don't know why you had to follow someone else's story. At least change some paragraphs as they are almost copy pasted or acknowledge the other story as an inspiration.

Love the story, but I'm a little confused about what Cody and his brothers actually do as far as 'criminal activity'. I understand they steal stuff, but why and what do they steal?

Hi! I must confess that the change of views without consent was driving me crazy. I have to analyze who's view was talking every paragraph. I hope you settle that one for your future readers.

At first, I found the story...like any other story, predictable and whatsoever, but after reading everything. I can say that's it's beautiful. I can see the beauty, feel the happiness, the contentment and everything. Thank you. Thank you for making it and thank you for sharing it to everyone here in Fictionpress. I know how hard is it to write then update for everyone. Thank you. After the epilogue, I feel like I'm enveloped with the veil of happiness and joy of life under God's grace.(I'm a Christian). I could the beauty of life.

-Call me emotional but this is what I really feel right now. The story wasn't that dramatic. It was light and good.

u r amazing. awesome story-very well written 3

I loved loved loved loved this 3. It was original, abd sweet, and not filled with sex scenes I mKe my eyes jump over, and just perfect.I loved it!(:

SPECIFY WHEN YOU CHANGE POINTS OF VIEW!

I like the story but I'm going MADDDD!

sorry had to get that out of my system :)

toodles

loved ur story!

This story has an amazing similarity to Scribe Mozell's Sabine Woman. Have you read it before or is it the inspiration for this? Some of lines are dead ringers for her story published on fictionpress in 2003. It might be worth taking a look at and/or changing some of the wording.

lovely story!

Awesome story!

Wonderful! There are tiny grammatical and/or errors and such, but they don't really make a difference. Like, they don't bother me and I can't even remember where they were, just that there were some. :)

But yes, I really enjoyed this story because although it's a tad bit cliche, it wasn't endless droning, angst, and the like. It was relatively fast-paced, but slow enough for me to really understand what was happening. Truly enjoyable. If I find those mistakes, I'll be sure to tell you, though. :D

Viv.

aw. love ur story.

I have several problems with this story. Several.

Number One: YOUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT REALISTIC. There is absolutely NO WAY that she would be all cool about having her freedom snatched away like this. She's far too happy with it all. I have no respect for her as a character. It should at least be a struggle for christsakes. The whole backstory that she'll be fine because she has no family to miss her and is very solitary etc. etc. is weak. If she's used to being solitary, she'll be weirded out by suddenly being around so many people! Especially such good nice kind people that cannot possibly think or hurting her but are too blind to see that TAKING AWAY SOMEONE'S FREEDOM is WRONG.

Number Two: they're all CHRISTIANS. I'm a catholic myself, but the way you present religion here is too sickenenly sweet. hm bandits that rob and steal but are christians...doesn't ring true with a little 8th Commandment that says THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. All this "The Lord must have brought them together" doesn't add anything to the story, it makes them seem a little bit moronic and flat, especially when they're ALL SAYING IT.

Number Three: They're too cute. Too matchy matchy. I would rather be reading the story about the girl that was throwing utensils at the other guy for three weeks. THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BECOME FRIENDS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. She's at least supposed to hate him.

Yeah anyhow, I could go on for years, really, I just won't. Please look over this? Please please?

Really, I expected more drama from this kind of story. Hell, i'd expect more drama from ANY fiction one here by chapter 7!

I loved it!

BOTH STORIES PLEASE!

Lol.

Oops.. Gotta go to bed right now, but ttyl!

And I absolutely LOVED THIS STORY!