Reviews for READ PLEASE
BOB chapter 1 . 5/17/2005
need lots of work i know this lot and lots of work this person is mest up in the head and need help

O ya I LOVE you caitlin love Curtis
lady of the demented hamsters chapter 1 . 5/13/2005
cool. i like this i undertand how u feel. i get it all the time
Hidden Lies chapter 1 . 5/9/2005
WOW.. this is great.. go your friend! I loved it! Can really relate! I'm sure many have said they can! Go you guys!
angelsstar chapter 1 . 4/23/2005
um... a bit more work on the language. I understand it was emotional and that's good. But the structurelanguage needes work. Esp. structure. Or maybe clear some things up alittle
mizerable-girl chapter 1 . 3/31/2005
i'm guessing your friend had a bad day when he wrote this... story or poem... anyway, the point is, as much as it is nice that it has a lot of emotions,a sign that it came from his heart, it's way too negative. it just needs a little work
someday-i-will chapter 1 . 3/28/2005
1) Format needs work.

2) Language need work.
A Face Worth Remembering chapter 1 . 3/16/2005
I get the message, but the format needs some work.

THROUGHTHESEEYES chapter 1 . 3/14/2005
I don't like the cursing at all...but...I liked it anyway because the phrases and the cursing sure get the emotion to write then explode. Better to write then to beat someone up!Better to write and be able to smile about it days, months, years from .
Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 3/12/2005
deep, very deep. a cynical but agreeable outlook. awesome!
hiding behind amber eyes chapter 1 . 3/11/2005
the last line is very hypocritical. i like this but i don't. it seems very messy like he keeps repeating himself. tell your friend to try to repeat himself (if he wants to repeat himself) using different phrases, and things like that. though i do think he's better than some people on FP

let me know when/if he gets an account
Starlight Maiden chapter 1 . 3/11/2005
Kinda like what my diary entires used to look like...I think it's full of emotion, but as a suggestion you could tell him (I assume a him) that if he constructed it differently, in any sort of form actually rather than rambling, he might find that his feelings are more accurately expressed.
Rosanna28 chapter 1 . 3/11/2005
I can see that you didn't write it. But it's still very good! I think if your friend would make it more like a poem, I mean...well, I can't explain it really...Like, put the lines under eachother ya know? That's a weird explanation, but owell!

BACK to the point! _

Tell your friend that it's really good, but that I'd love to see it more like a poem. Now it seems more like a very short story, but when you start reading it, it feels like a poem but it doesn't look like it...

O...k...THAT was weird! But I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

Much love, Rosanna.
morbidme chapter 1 . 3/11/2005
i think its a good poem but al of the language makes it sond un-intelligent..BUT! i think it would alos sound good if you put it to a ryhthem XmeX
myno chapter 1 . 3/10/2005
i'm not crazy about the swearing... okay fine, i never like swearing. Apart from that, there's a lot of emotion in this, which is good.
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 3/10/2005
This isn't bad. - There are a few grammar and spelling mistakes but not so much that I'm annoyed or can't read it. Although it is a was a good idea and written in a different style. Nicely done.

!~* Noelle *~!
16 | Page 1 2 Next »