|Reviews for MOB BOYS|
| Cici Dash chapter 2 . 3/14/2005
Awsome! I like how you take your time and develop things. Keep going! _
| Cici Dash chapter 1 . 3/13/2005
Very nice butI do have a few suggestions:
1) DEATH TO COMMAS. You use them WAY too much. Some of your sentences are too long; try breaking them down a bit with periods or semi-colins.
2) Dialouge is AWSOME but you don't have to post a direct action after every time someone says something. You can let it flow a bit.
I love it so far now write more! *sews a pen on your hand*