Wow! This was very good! I really liked it; it kept me on the edge of my seat. Nicely written! One question, is this the first chapter, are they more to follow? Or did you want to let the reader figure out what happened with the girls? Hehe, in either case, this rocks! I haven't read such a good piece in a while, thanks for a good read *hugs u*Keep up the good work!Take care!

It is a good story. You should write more. Or is this all?

I really like this story, except what happened to Elorie at the end. Why didnt he help her. Unless i misread, which in case thats what i did, i am sorry.

The whole thing seems kinda... cliche. It's been done before.

The title doesn't really make sense, either. Unless you are going to continue? Plus, the plot kind of drags along.

But it has the makings of a good story! Keep writing!

~*FicheCeist*~