|Reviews for His Eyes|
| x.betweenthelines chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
good luck on publishing!
i loved the story.
| notreal17 chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
I love your story and wish you luck in getting it published please let us know when you do!...
| Lovedward48 chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
Good luck! Could you inform us if/when it's released?
| adiiee chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
hi..im trying to read the story and it wont come up..it only comes up with 1 chapter... how can i read it can u email me a reply thanks.
| klleongmsia chapter 19 . 1/2/2008
This is beautiful!
| atreyu love chapter 15 . 1/1/2008
chapter 5 10 12 13 14 dont work :(
thats REALLY sad because now i dont know whats happening!
| bookworm925 chapter 18 . 12/28/2007
What a wonderful story!
Right. Good you left Tristan blind. We!
It's so funny and mushy.
nice story... ;)
made my Christmas break nice. ;)
| Neha chapter 18 . 12/28/2007
Hi...I'm new here and still anonymous here...but my friend encouraged me to read this story so I did...and I thought it was really really really sweet )
I love the way you've written it, and it was just so nice the way the romance wasnt a focal part of the stormy but just kind of woven in
it was a great story.
| mikey chapter 1 . 12/24/2007
i just.. wow. great! read the whole story in one go, i couldn't stop!
| SparklingStar25 chapter 18 . 12/17/2007
This story is awesome!I'm iin love with it!
And the ending was amazing!
| starsfinallyxplode chapter 18 . 12/16/2007
Hey, so you're story was pretty good. I loved the premise; it's different from your average high-school-rich-playboy-falls-in-love-with-average-girl-with-big-heart story. You write pretty wild plot twists, which actually work for the story. And I appreciate that your characters aren't perfect. Tristan doesn't change immediately and he likes to wallow in self-pity. That makes him seem more real.
There are a few things that could be improved, if you're still looking to improve this story (you might not, I don't know. You did finish this a long time ago.) First, you tend to use the word "exclaim" when I don't think that's what you mean. "Exclaim" means to yell, to say something loudly and excitedly. There are a lot of points where you use the word to mean something more like "say" or "remark" or "announce."
Second, you said that the Edmunds' 3,500 dollars was enough to pay for Amy's term at Northwestern. Just so you know, a semester at a private college like Northwestern would probably cost something around 20,0.
Last, when Amy first meets Tristan's parents, she kind of insults their son and their parenting skills by saying that he "mopes around" and that they treat him like a "child." This is a small thing, but they don't get the slightest bit defensive, and most parents wouldn't take that meekly from an 18 year old girl.
As I said, those are small things that might help if you're looking to improve it. Overall, though, it's a good story. Good job!
| Waitingnotsopatiently chapter 19 . 12/13/2007
Oh. My. Gosh. This has got to be one of the greatest stories I have EVER read on fictionpress. I have no idea how the heck I found it, but I did and I've been reading it straight through for the past hour. This story is really, really great. The idea was awesome, the writing was brilliant, the characters were believable...Like wow. I have never found a story that I liked so much where I literally couldn't click the arrow leading to the next chapter fast enough. Oh my gosh, I can't get over how great this was! You did a FANTASTIC job and I am so glad I got to read this! When I first clicked on this, I wondered how the heck you got 2,0 something reviews...I know why now...
Keep writing because you're great at it!
| Dream that was Life chapter 18 . 12/8/2007
Wow, that was amazing. I just read it straight from start to finish, and it was really, really sweet! I think it's good you left Tristan blind but confident, and they got back together.
Good Luck on getting the third draft published!
| emotionless-stares chapter 5 . 11/23/2007
He'd a bit coldhearted but considering his situation, I wouldn't blame him. I hope that they can get along soon.
| emotionless-stares chapter 4 . 11/23/2007
Lol, she's really determined