|Reviews for The Lost Heroine|
| Sylvara chapter 5 . 6/5/2008
It's really interesting and I hope to read more. The way you built and then unfolds the plot please me a lot. The sole thing that I would encourage you to work on a little more would be the chapters' ending.
| Brooke ORiley chapter 1 . 3/22/2005
interesting beginning. there's not a whole lot to comment on, since most of it was description and adding character upon character.
a grammar thing... "“Five not counting you,” Lilly said." that bit of dialogue is done correctly. "“Raishel? Thank goodness I remember you!” She said, forgetting to keep her voice down." that is not. just try and be consisten with dialogue rules...it can really detract from a story when they're not used correctly.
posting 5 chapters at a time is a bit much, don't you think? it'll be rather difficult to keep up with, especially since i don't even have time to read more than this one right now...you might wanna slow it down, not post until you have a reviews. that way you gain a following (i'm sure you already have one, but for the story in particular) and people won't be intimidated by the length of the story and not read it.
so with all that said, it is a very interesting premise, and we'll have to see where you go with it!